17 going on 50?

Good-bye....for now

2009-01-06T22:43:00.002-05:00

Hello DOC.
I know it's been a while, and it's going to be even longer.
In case you haven't noticed, I've taken a break from blogging. This blog has been sitting abandoned for quite a while. It will never be active again. Blogging became a chore for me, rather than a pleasure. I think of a blog post a least a few times a week, but they rarely turn into actual text. If I do write them down, they don't get posted. I've created another blog, but I'm not ready to commit and make it public. When I do, I'll let you know. I am still reading, but it will be a while before I write again. Once it is something I want to do again, I'll be back.
Thank you all for your advice and thoughts. I treasured them.
Jen

Trip

2008-07-31T10:11:00.002-05:00

Guess what?
I'm going to be at the quilt for life in Washington DC! I'm super excited. I've always wanted to go, and now that I have a square in it(#601), I decided to make the trip. This trip was in limbo for a very long time, but it is finally happening! I'm going to meet up with Allison and some other bloggers for lunch on Monday. This is the first time I'll meet any other blogger. I'm excited (and nervous!). I'll be staying with a friend from the area. She's also diabetic. We met a long time ago at camp, and have been good friends ever since. We don't get to see each other often, so it will be awesome to see her again. This will be my first time traveling along, so I'm nervous about that, but I'm being dropped off by one friend and picked up by another.
I'll tell you all about it when I get home!

But Why?

2008-07-28T11:58:00.002-05:00

I can't even explain how crazy this summer has been. It was supposed to be a nice, relaxing summer with lots of time to sleep in and chill out. It has not been that way in the slightest. Without going into too many details, I've ended up staying with my brother and sister-in-law for an extended period of time to care for their two children, who are turning 1 and 3 years old this summer. My three year old niece is quite intelligent, and curious about everything. Since the very beginning, I have never lied to M about my diabetes or my pump. When she asked "What's that?" and pointed to my pump, I would always reply that it was Aunt Jen's pump. She never asked beyond that. Until now. She has reached the "why" stage. I scrambled to answer when she pressed about why Aunt Jen wears a pump, and why I need medicine. So I've come to the fine folks of the DOC to help. What do you tell the young children in your life about your diabetes and diabetic supplies? Does anyone know about any good books that would help explain? A book that has a pump in it would be very helpful, since that is what she is asking questions about.
Thanks in advance! I have a lot of things to post about, so you should be seeing me a little more often!

2008-05-25T14:16:00.002-05:00

I was going to apologize for not posting in so long, but I've accepted that this is how I blog. I post in spurts when I have time. And lately, I have not had time. Just about every day I write a blog post in my head, but rarely get the chance to fight for a computer (my family has one computer on dial up internet). It's usually not worth it.
Since finishing classes earlier this month, I have been busy working for my parents. Most of the time I love it, except for the times that I hate it. I have been having a lot of lows lately. It is my goal today to start logging my sugars so that I can really figure out what's going on. I realized that I needed to do something the other day when I finished my second gallon of juice since I moved home. That is a lot of juice, and a lot of calories that I never should have had to consume.
In other news, I still don't have work back from my insurance company about a CGMS. The doctor's office said it could easily be another couple of weeks, so I'm not holding my breath.
That's the quick review of what's going on in my life. I may post again soon. I might not. Who knows.

Alternate answer

2008-04-23T20:31:00.002-05:00

This was a question that came up on a practice exam for one of my classes.

A type one diabetic is prescribed to take Regular and NPH before breakfast. The client give insulin at 6am before breakfast. The nurse should teach the client to:
A. Avoid snacks between breakfast and lunch
B. Delay dinner until after 6pm
C. Eat a low carbohydrate lunch at noon
D. Have a snack at 3pm

So what do you think the correct answer was?

I have to give them a little credit for saying a type one diabetic, and then following it with a question about insulin, but couldn't they have picked any of the insulins created in the last 10 years? One that doesn't promote a strict diet and schedule? I would like to add an alternative answer

E. Consult their endocrinologist for a prescription for Novolog and Lantus.

Dread

2008-04-18T15:35:00.003-05:00

There are certain words I'd rather not hear on my voicemail on a Friday afternoon. Near the top of the list is "Hi, this is (name) from (name)endocrinology clinic. I'd like to speak with you regarding your blood work. I'd appreciate it if you give me a call as soon as possible." I called her back as soon as I got the message, but I had to leave her a voicemail. I had blood work drawn 3 weeks ago. I hadn't heard anything, so I assumed everything was fine. But I guess not. The office closes is about 5 minutes, and I'm doubting she will return my message. It is going to take a lot of will power not to worry about this all weekend.

UPDATE: Just like everyone suggested- it was nothing. My LDL was 109. While I'd prefer it was lower, it is by far not the end of the world. The nurse just asked if I had been taking my statin regularly (I have) and said they would get back to me. I have no idea why the urgency, but everything is just fine. I just need to get my butt in gear now that the weather is nice and work out more, and eat healthier! Winter is not nice to my health.

I love

2008-04-17T19:18:00.002-05:00

Allison posted this challenge, and then Hannah joined, and now I present my list.

The challenge: I challenge you to make your own list or leave a love of yours in the comments. The only catch? You can’t include a single person you know on your list. No “I love the way my husband laughs” or “I love hearing my little girl call for me.” It’ll be tough, I know. But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love.

I love feeling like I have accomplished something.
I love looking through library books and wondering what they have in store for me- will they be exciting and interesting or will they be boring?
I love waking up before my alarm after a great nights sleep
I love being able to lay in bed at night, watch a movie and drift off to sleep.
I love taking walks outside when the weather turns warm
I love hearing a song on the radio that I used to love and haven’t heard in ages
I love it when I get a great blog post idea AND have time to type it up in a way I like
I love sitting down after a busy day and knowing I have made a difference
I love standing in the chapel and hearing voices lifted to God in such a beautiful place
I love the anticipation of a long trip
I love Colorado mountains
I love the rush of an OR suite
I love diabetes camp- even after 12 years
I love grilled cheese
I love comfy, broken-in jeans and hoodies
I love chick flick movies where everything is OK in the end.
I love it even more if music/dancing is involved.
I love winning games.
I love beautiful flowers
I love helping a customer and feeling like they really appreciated my help
I love the sounds of camping in the fall
I love seeing mail in my box at school
I love free stuff
I love surprises
I love an unexpectedly great picture
I love chocolate ice cream with Reese peanut butter cups
I love a cold drink of water
I love googling things to answer random questions
I love that people think I know everything random and knowing that I don’t
I love blue and purple mixed
I love seeing campus filling up now that its warm.
I love thinking up this list.
I love that it only took me about 10 minutes.
I'd love for you to do one of your own.

Jen needs...

2008-04-16T21:34:00.000-05:00

Jumping on the meme badwagon. I totally had planned on doing a Raise Your Voice post, I even had a good idea, and then I didn't have time to do it before clinical, and no energy after, so it didn't get done. Too bad.

Jen needs...a session or two with a therapist. Hmmmm. Might not be a bad idea!

Jen needs...a break. AMEN! 15 days until summer break!

Jen needs....human anatomy lessons. That might be true. I didn't do so well in anatomy, but so far, i haven't had any problems in nursing clinicals.

Jen needs...someone to comfort her. Sure, why not.

Jen needs....a boyfriend. No thanks. No time (just kidding. kind of- anyone know any single decent guys? Because I don't!)

Jen needs... to find a self righteous, conspicuous "I'm better than you" charitable position so she can keep charming the sheep into thinking she matters. I'm speechless.

Jen needs...understand that Adam does not carry his violent responses beyond his tools Yeah....I don't get it

Jen needs...a new computer While I am interested in a Mac, my Gateway is working just fine.

Jen need...her Oscar beauty rest Rest yes, for the Oscars? I can safely say that will never happen.

Jen needs...to take some time and be by herself. Yes please. One is never alone in college. I live with 17 girls. Privacy? HA!

Announcement

2008-04-13T09:43:00.003-05:00

I remember when I was a camper, at every meal, someone would get up and say, “Are there any announcements for the good of the camp?” Everyone would break out into song(I DID say it was camp!) Announcements, Announcements, ANNNNNNNOUNCMENTS! Pile ‘em in a corner, pile ‘em in a corner, pile ‘em in a corner and we’ll watch the flowers grow... I’ll stop there for everyone's sanity. The campers LOVED this song, especially when the person with the mic didn’t mean to say it. Once the singing was done, counselors would stand on their chair and scream to the rest of the camp what accomplishment their camper had made. “Scott gave himself his shot for the first time today!” “Sarah joined the belly shooters club!” Things like that. The camper would stand up on their chair, be filled with embarrassment and pride as the whole camp clapped and cheered for YOU. I had 2 announcements made about me during my time as a camper. (And a few more as a counselor, campers LOVE standing up and making announcements about their counselor, so I tried to give them chances) The first announcement made about me was when I did my own injection for the first time my first year at camp. I remember that day very clearly. I was SO proud of myself. This whole long story is to try to explain to you why I am so excited, and slightly sad, to be making the following announcement: (I can’t hear you singing!)

YESTERDAY, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, JEN PUT IN HER PUMP SITE WITHOUT AN INSERTER!!!!!!!

Yes, it’s true. After many, many years of using Quick-sets, I finally did one without the blue bubble. And it went great. Now, are there any other announcements for the good of the DOC? :-)

I broke it!

2008-04-02T17:51:00.001-05:00

I don't know how, but I broke another pump. This time it was the cap that goes over the cartridge. The cap is sitting at an angle, and I no longer trust it to deliver properly. The Cozmo people are sending me a new cap overnight along with a spare. I was suppose to already have one, and I must have placed it in a VERY safe place. But since it didn't break until late Wednesday night, I won't be getting my new pump until some time today. That means a call to the endo for some Lantus pens and shots for a day and a half. And then after I took the shot of Lantus, I remembered I had my old Minimed 508 stashed in the closet. I took it out and put the batteries in it. It still works! I'm putting it on to take boluses and then have the Lantus for basal. It is making me appreciate all the features my Cozmo has. The Minimed pump does two things: delivers basal and delivers a bolus when you tell it how much insulin to give. Simple, but it does the job. When my new pump gets here, I'll be happy to take the batteries out of the dinosaur pump and re-retire it. And maybe I should stop dropping my pumps so often. :-)

Impluse

2008-03-27T18:05:00.003-05:00

I made an impulsive decision today. I an my endocrionologist appointment today. My A1c was 7.1%, which is good, but I don't feel like it fully reflects my control, and I've been trying and trying to break through that 7% barrier. As my endo is looking through my log sheets he asked if I had tried a CGMS. I said yes, and without thinking, I blirted out "Yes, and I want one." I had planned on going in and asking if they had a Dexcom for me to trial (they don't), and I walked out starting the process to fight for insurance approval. I made it clear that I don't have the time or the stamina in me to do a lot of fighting, but his office is putting together the paperwork for me, and submitting a claim for a Guardian. I'm a little shocked. I don't really expect to get approval, but it would be really cool if I did!

Whoa!

2008-03-13T13:17:00.002-05:00

The Navigator has FINALLY been approved! I didn't think this day would ever get here! I'm very interested to see if it lives up to the hype or not.

Thanks to Diabetes Mine for the heads up!

Spring Break

2008-03-12T22:33:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow, at 5pm, my Spring Break will begin. I am SO ready for a break. My head might explode from everything I have been cramming into it lately.
I'm heading to Kentucky for a mission trip. I've never done anything like it before, so I'm excited and nervous.
I hope we can make a difference in the area, and that we'll all get the mental rest we need.

CGMS, pumps and surgery, part 2

2008-03-03T20:17:00.001-05:00

After waking up in the recovery room, I settled into my room for the night. Oddly enough, I was on a Women's health floor- I guess the hospital was really full. I had difficulty falling asleep, and just laid there staring into space for a while. My nurse was awesome. I checked my blood sugar using their meter (hospital policy that wasn't worth fighting) to confirm a blood sugar in the mid 200's. I corrected, and assumed I would come back down slowly. Boy, was I wrong. I rose steadily into the 400's where I stayed. No matter how much insulin I gave, I would not come down. So in addition to the pain from surgery, I now was dealing with the pain of a high. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night. Finally around 8am I asked them to page my endocrinologist, since I wasn't getting anywhere on my own. He had me inject a whopping 15 units and change my site- why I hadn't thought of that, I don't know. I had brought a spare site with me, just in case, so I put that in. And waited. An hour later, I was still in the 400's. I talked to my endo again, and he asked me if I thought the second site was bad. In the course of questioning, he found out I had used my own insulin, and not the hospitals. He got upset at the nurse at that point, and said he would be right over! The outpatient clinic is across the street from the hospital. He took a couple of sites and a new bottle of insulin over to me! After another shot of 15 units, I finally started to come back down. My nursing care after the night shift was frustrating. When my breakfast tray came, she was upset that I didn't want to eat anything. I was 400! I had large ketones! I was trying not to throw up all over the place, let alone think about food! Then she asked me how I felt. I replied that I felt gross. I cannot describe how I feel when I am really high other than that I feel gross. If there were other words, I would use them. She would not let it go, until finally I just rattled off the classic symptoms of a high to make her go away.
They would not release me until my blood sugars came down, but I had to leave before 10pm or I would have had to be readmitted. I didn't want that to happen because I had a feeling the diagnosis would have been something like DKA- which was not my fault. I did the best I could under the situations. My insulin needs stayed high for the next week or so, I was running my basals around 150%. I knew it was possible for insulin needs to run higher, but I underestimated how much it would affect ME.
The whole experience was quite eye opening. I saw things from the patient's perspective. Let me tell you, I think I'd prefer to be the one giving care. It's a whole lot less painful.

Summer plans

2008-02-26T21:12:00.003-05:00

I just got an email that I got one of the externships I applied for. This should be a good thing. Competition for these positions is quite steep, so I was lucky to get one.
The thing is- I don't want it. It is my last summer of college, and I want to enjoy my time. I have to decide what is more important in the long run, the experience and the money, or enjoying my last summer at home and doing things I really want to do like volunteering at my diabetes camp.
Becoming an adult sucks.

Edit: Thanks for the congratulations. I decided not to take it. I talked to someone who had it last year who said he was tired and stressed most of the time, but it was a great experience. I really do not need more time spent tired and stressed. I do that enough during the school year.

CGMS, Pumps and surgery, part 1

2008-02-18T12:16:00.000-05:00

Having appendicitis has been a fear of mine for a while. I realize that might sound strange. I have a long family history of it- including my brother and sister in law in the past 2 years. I know my sister in law doesn't factor into the genetics, but it does contribute to my anxiety. Up until now, I had never had surgery. The thought of having to have surgery with no time to prepare scared me silly. Add to it the fears that I would run across health care providers who were uneducated about diabetes and pumps, well, I just didn't ever want to deal with appendicitis.
However, it wanted to deal with me. Much like diabetes, it entered my life suddenly and without welcome.
Sunday afternoon my parents helped me move into my new house. I started to not feeling well, but figured it was something I ate. By the time we got everything inside, I couldn't hide it anymore, broke into tears, and told my mom that I didn't feel well and wanted to go home. I grabbed a sweatshirt, my meds and my pillow and went home. I spent the rest of the night on the couch dealing with epigastric pain and nausea. It was not fun. Finally, around 3am, the stomach pain resolved, but lower right quadrant pain appeared. I was so relieved, because I truly felt better. I could actually sleep. When I woke up that morning, my mom asked me how I was feeling, and I told her I was getting better. I didn't want to eat, but other than that, I started making plans to return home. I avoided her question on whether the pain had really gone away or moved. Eventually she realized I wasn't walking standing straight, and was not doing anything but sitting on the couch. After she convinced me to let her test my rebound tenderness, I finally agreed to go to the ER. I spent the whole ride there telling her we were going to feel stupid when it was nothing. I was playing the denial game. After an IV (which, miracle of miracles, was in the first try!), and a CAT scan (with no oral contrast- hurray!) I found myself waiting in pre-op. After I got the results that it was indeed appendicitis, the time from the ER to the OR was about half an hour. Before that, things moved slowly. There was very little doubt in the ER doc's mind that it was appendicitis, and after 4mg of Dilaudid with no pain relief, I had to agree. Entering the OR was a strange experience for me. I was numb. I would not let me mind wander to any of the "what ifs." I had just spent some time in the OR in my last clinical rotation, so the surroundings were familiar, and I knew what was going to happen, so that helped my uneasiness. I was still kind of freaking out about what they were going to do with my pump and the Guardian...until I met the anesthesiologist. He was admittedly a technology geek. He came in and said..."So I hear you’re diabetic, what are we going to do with you?" I showed him my pump and the CGMS. And he asked a bunch of questions about how they worked. I showed him how to do a temp basal, and how to check on my blood sugar. Another doctor came in to talk to me; the anesthesiologist said to him something to the effect of "look at all the cool stuff this girl has! I just press this button to look at her blood sugar, and then I can titrate her insulin if I have to! Isn't it cool?" I knew then that I would be OK. I went into the OR, and everyone was talking and being calm and casual, just like they always are. And even though I was the one on the table, instead of standing in the corner watching, I felt at ease. All the fears I had about having surgery were answered. In true fashion, when I woke up in the PACU (post anesthia care unit or post op), the first question I asked was- What's my blood sugar? I knew I would be OK when the nurse could answer me right away. I was 180.
The rest of the stay in the hospital was not as uneventful, but that is another post.

It's time to play Find Jen's Pump!

2008-02-12T23:04:00.001-05:00

I toss and turn in my sleep. I've also been told I kick. I sleep like a baby most nights, so I don't really care what I'm doing in the process of this sleep. If I ever get married-, my husband will just have to learn to deal with it. Or buy a big bed. :-) I keep my pump in place in a flannel case around my waist so it can't roam too far.
I had a rough night last night. Shortly after I went to bed, I woke up at 330. I corrected, but apparently I fell asleep before I could put my pump back in my case An hour and a half later I woke up to recheck. I could feel the pump vibrating from somewhere under the sheets, but for the life of me, I could not locate it. So I resorted to following the tubing. (I use the long 43" stuff). The path it took was just crazy. It went up over and around my arm to underneath my back. One would think I would have felt it there. By the time I finally found it, I was 180. The pump recommended I take 3 grams, but that seemed a little ridiculous to me, so I went back to sleep. Once again, I didn't put the pump back into the case- heaven knows why. At 5am, I woke up very obviously low. I always have the preoccupation that I HAVE to check before I treat, even when I know with absolute certainty that I am low. Again, I had to resort to following the tubing. I followed it up shirt and back down underneath it to where it was neatly at my side. That's right- I managed to put my pump under my shirt while sleeping. Now that's talent! I was low- 59 in fact. I guess I should have listened to the pump and taken a tab. And woken up enough to return my pump to its case. Although entertaining the next morning, playing "find the pump" at 5am while very sleepy and low is just not very much fun.

Guardian, take two

2008-02-07T20:44:00.000-05:00

I really wanted to post on this a long time ago, but sometimes life just gets in the way.
I picked up the Guardian and some sensors on December 16, with not a lot of expectations. I am happy to say it surpassed every one of my expectations.
It was not dead on, but I no longer expected it to be. It DID catch highs and lows. I did see some trends. I realized I really need to change my habit of bolusing during or after meals. It is just unfair to expect the insulin to "catch up" and compete with the food spikes when the food has such a head start.

I really think the Guardian is a great tool. I really want it back. It caught one low in the middle of the night before I woke up, and that is exactly what I wanted it to do. I was sad, rather than relieved like I was last time, to return the unit after a month.

I don’t know the cause of my last poor experience with the Guardian. The only thing I can figure is that I got some bad sensors. Absolutely everything else stayed exactly the same. It makes me happy and give me hope for the future that I had a successful experience the second time around. I loved having that data. I value the reassurance when I start to feel funny I could look and see where I was and in what direction I was heading. Nothing could replace the feeling it gave me going into surgery having it at my side (more on this later).

I am currently flirting with the idea of trying to pursue insurance coverage. I don't know if I am up for the fight or not. My insurance company won't cover more than 200 test strips a month, I kind of doubt they would pay for something as progressive as a CGMS. I'd love to hear of users of CGMS- do you pay for it out of pocket, or did you get insurance to cough it up?

If I never hear the word "diabetes" again, it will be too soon

2008-01-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

I am sick and tired about hearing about diabetes. Why then, some might ask, am I writing about this in a diabetes blog that is part of a whole right of diabetes blogs? Because it is not the OC that I am sick of. Strangly enough, the OC is one of my escapes.
I am sick of hearing about diabetes in my classes. Every single day diabetes comes up. Whether it be as an example of how to teach a client or risk factors for one condition or another- it comes up. I am sick of hearing about how people with diabetes have to drastically change their diet. How they must exercise daily to lower their blood sugar. How having diabetes puts them at risk for every fricking condition under the sun. How they all have bad feeling in their feet. How if they do not control their sugars by taking their pills, following their strict diet and exercising daily they might have to use insulin! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
If I'm lucky- the words "type two" come up, but rarely. I'm sick of fighting the battle. At first, it was funny. Me and a couple of friends kept a tally to see how many classes it DIDN"T come up in. I'm past the stage of it being funny. Now I'm sick of it. There ARE other chronic conditions out there that people have to adapt their lifestyle for. I do not have to follow a special diet. I have better feeling in my feet than my endocrinologist (according to him). I do not not have a I pump and test up to 10 times a day because I'm so out of control, I do it to be IN control!
I now understand WHY medical professionals have such a jaded view of living with type 1 diabetes. Because this stuff is ramed down their throats every. single. day. I might have a little more patience the next time I deal with an ignorant nurse- and throw in a little education.

Clinical

2008-01-21T20:04:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those nightmarish days. I have clinical rotations at the hospitals on Mondays and Tuesdays. Today was my first day back after surgery. I was not on top of my game.
I do not usually tell the nurse I'm working with that I'm diabetic. It is generally unnecessary information, and a lot of people in the medical field have preconceived notions about diabetes that I just do not need to deal with. I generally manage my blood sugars pretty well during clincals, so it's not an issue.
Today, however, I did not manage well at all. I went from an astounding(not in a good way!) 426 to 59. Within 2 hours. Right around 3pm I started feeling thirsty, and since it had been a few hours since I had last checked, I thought, why not- my lunch bolus could be a little off. I washed my hands, pricked my finger and waited. And waited. And waited. As Cozmonitor users will know, the longer it takes to get a results, the higher it is. My anxiety level rose with each passing second. I almost gasped out loud when I saw the result. As soon as I saw it, I realized I had no backup supplies with me. It would be another 4 hours before I could get insulin if my site was bad. I took an astronomically large bolus and prayed for the best. 2 hours later, I was 59. I guess the site worked after all. I will be putting extra supplies in my bag, and hope that tomorrow is a better day.

time flies

2008-01-19T10:49:00.000-05:00

I didn't mean to be gone this long, but I think very rarely do people plan their blogging absences. It started out with the craziness of finishing up a semester. It continued with the holiday busyness. Then it had been so long that I thought I'd just wait until I got back to school and high speed internet. Then came the appendicitis, the surgery, and the hospital stay. Finally, catching up with missed classes. All that brings me here, with my return to blogging. I am hopelessly behind on reading, and definitely on commenting. I opened my feeds of the blogs I read to find way over a hundred unread posts. I just deleted them all. There is no way I'd ever catch up. I hope to start posting more. I'm setting a goal for myself of once a week. I know that's not a lot, but that's the goal. There are so many things I want to tell you all about. My first alcoholic drink. My experience with surgery. My second experience with the Guardian. My second alcoholic drink. Hopefully, I'll post about those things with time.
I'm here to say I'm back. I hope to see you around to DOC.

Because final exams are kicking my butt

2007-12-12T19:36:00.000-05:00

One. More. Final. Not sure I can make it. Needed a break.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper. It's so much more fun.

2. Real tree or artificial?
REAL!!! I have a skin allergy to them and it's pretty funny to watch my and my mom decorating the tree with gloves. I will not give up my real tree.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Whenever I move home from school.
4. When do you take the tree down?
Sometime around new years. I wait as long as possible.
5. Do you like eggnog?
Not really.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
When I was about 8 I got an American girl doll (Samantha) and thought I was in heavy. I insisted on having it in our family Christmas picture that year.
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes- kind of. It's one of those things that is a puzzle but the pieces are Mary, Joseph, Jesus, etc. My grandpa made it.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My sister in law. We have different tastes, as much as I love her.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Generally, my mother.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A box of doll clothes from an extended family member when I was 15.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Neither.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
For the classics- Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. For recent- The Polar Express

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Depends on how on top of it I am. Usually sometime in December. This year? I am DONE! It is almost a miracle.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Noooooo....never......

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
These white chocolate bars. I can't describe them, but they are awesome.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Colored.
17. Favorite Christmas song?
I refuse to pick one.
18. Travel for Christmas or stay home?
Stay Home. This is the first year I'm traveling somewhere, and I'm trying to be OK with it.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
Yes.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Angel

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas afternoon, actually. After Christmas morning church service and Christmas dinner.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Dealing with cranky people in crowded stores.

23. What I love most about Christmas?
EVERYTHING!! I LOVE Christmas. Favorite time of the year. The food, the people, the music, the food, pretty much everything.

15 days

2007-12-06T19:15:00.000-05:00

In 15 days, I turn 21.
I am quite excited about this. I am generally a rule follower, and I have not had any drinks before now. A sip here and there, yes, but other than that, I am not a drinker. That will not change much when I turn 21, but it will change somewhat. I want to be able to order a drink when I go out with friends. Maybe get a little tipsy once. I've seen plenty of stupid drunk people (I am in college after all) and I am not interested in being one of them. I'm being honest here- I am going to drink. I am not going to be stupid. All of my friends know I am diabetic, and almost all of them know how to take care of me.

In keeping with the not being stupid theme, I want to know how the OC handles alcohol. How do you bolus? How does it usually affect you? Any other drinking tips? (Now isn't THAT a strange sentence!)

I am not going to let diabetes take away a drink or two. I'd appreciate any tips anyone has. If for some reason you don't want to post as a comment, feel free to email me at jenjen6868@juno.com. Thanks in advance!

Meme

2007-12-05T15:57:00.000-05:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope. I do share my mother’s middle name.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday. I did something stupid that messed up my whole night and seriously stressed me out.

3. Do you like your handwriting? NO! In elementary school, I was actually in a special class b/c it was so bad. It did not improve.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No. I have fun with my niece and nephew. Kids are still a looong way off for me.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I have no idea. I often wonder this, and I have no idea.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Depends on who I am around.

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No! Not a fan of heights.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Right now, honey nut cherrioes. Lucky Charms is my guilty pleasure, but I almost never eat it for obvious reasons.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Never. I don’t untie then when I put them on either. It is a bad habit that I can’t stop.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No. I’m mentally strong during crisis, but that’s about it.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate. If there are peanut butter cups involved, I’m in heaven.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their clothes. The problem is, I focus on that, and I remember their clothes, not the face. The next time I meet them, I’m clueless because they have changed their clothes!

15. RED OR PINK? Pink.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? No question about it, My weight.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? As far as deceased, my maternal grandfather. Other than that, a friend who is studying in Africa for a semester.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans and purple slippers. 

No 19, and it’s one of my favorite numbers!

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Some cashews

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The TV (which is weird, because I almost never watch TV)

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Midnight blue

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? vanilla

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? A classmate

25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Basketball. But only in person.

26. HAIR COLOR? I consider it blond, but in the last week two people have called it brown, so I guess blonde/brown

27. EYE COLOR? Blue.

28 .Do you wear contacts? Yes

29.FAVORITE FOOD? Hmmm. Probably mashed potatoes

30. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. I’m a sucker for that kind of thing.

31. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Fiddler on the roof, oddly enough.

32 WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Brown and pink

33. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. I love snow. It snowed for the first time today, and I was THRILLED.

34. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs.

35. FAVORITE DESSERT? Peanut butter pie.

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Weird pink and orange cirles. It was the only one that didn’t have puppies or cats on it when I bought one, and I’m too cheap to buy a new one.

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Didn’t watch TV last night.

38. FAVORITE SOUND? My niece laughing. You can’t get any better than a child laughing.

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Colorado

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Nope.

A short Guardian review

2007-12-01T20:20:00.000-05:00

I've had a couple of requests for a review on my experience with the Guardian, so I thought I'd give you a quick run down.
Positives:
* This must go first because it seems most important. My A1c dropped from 7.4 to 6.8 in the month I wore the unit. I was shocked. This is my lowest Aic in my lifetime, except maybe the time when I wasn't diabetic :-). I think the increased awareness of postprandials was a large part of the drop.
* I like the size and weight of the receiver. It wasn't too annoying to carry it and my pump. I do think the weight and possibly the size would change with a pump and CGMS in one.
*The 3,6 and 12 hour graphs. The 24 hour was too small to be of any use. The others were helpful for seeing trends for that day.
* The sensor was not as big and bulky as I thought it would be. It did not bother me 85% of the time.
*The fact that the software was online, so I was not tied to one computer all the time.
*For the most part, I was happy with the receiving range. It did seem to vary and I'm not sure why. I found most of the time I could set the receiver on my bed and walk around my dorm room with no problems.

Negatives:
* I've written several times before about the accuracy issues I had before. I won't go into too much details again, especially since I think there might have been extenuating circumstances (see below). The highlights include missing almost all lows (it caught 2 in a month. I assure you I had more than 2 lows that month), not seeing highs as high as they actually were and random times where it was 150 points or more off.
* I was not happy with the support I received from Minimed. In several cases they refused to answer my questions. Not the impression you want to leave on a potential customer.
* I wish it would show more than just the current day without having to download it to a computer.
*Speaking of downloading- they seriously need a new cable! I could not use my laptop to upload data because it did not have a serial port. Quick annoying.
*Finding sites for the senor and my pump sites did start to get a little tricky. The sensor sites healed slower than a usual pump site. I could not really use the pump and the CGMS on the same side, so it did not take long to run out of real estate. I was not brave enough to try the sensors on areas of my body other than my abdomen.
* The sensors just shut off at the end of the 72 hour period with no warning what so ever. I found this annoying. I have enough things to remember thank you very much.
*There were times the sensor did bother me. The biggest of these were during exercise. There is nothing holding the transmitter portion to the body. When I exercised and when I showered it seemed to flop around a lot.

Those were the things that stick out in my mind. That being said, I am going on another trial in a few weeks. I met with the nurse educator who runs the program at my endo's office when I returned the unit and we sat down and talked. She was upset that I did not get the support I needed from Minimed, and wanted to try and correct the situation. She contacted the rep for the area, and he wanted the days and I times I called and said he was going to look into it. He also wanted me to try it again if I was willing. This time I have his number to call with problems, so hopefully I can problem solve with him and have a truly good experience. I'll keep you updated!

I've been tagged

2007-11-21T16:33:00.000-05:00

The rules:
Link the person who tagged you, Sandra and Chris
Post these rules on your blog.
List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
Tag seven random people at the end of your post.
The last rule that seems to be optional depending on who you ask is to put a comment on the people you've tagged blogs so they know they have been tagged.
My Seven:
1. I am a farm girl, born and raised. Yes, complete with John Deere tractors. No, I don't have any cows/horses/pigs. It's not that kind of farm.
2. As I child, I could do word search puzzles before I could read. There was one in the children's bulletin one Sunday, my mom told me how to do it, I did the whole thing, and loved to do them every since.
3. I used a pacifier until I started preschool. I was almost weaned off of it when I was diagnosed, and my mom didn't have to heart to take it away from me at the hospital. I finally got rid of it one summer. I left it outside and my mom told me it was lost. She hid it in a drawn just in case something happened and I went back into the hospital. We found it 5 years later when we moved.
4. I had the nickname of "fer-fer" for the longest time. When I was learning to talk, I couldn't pronounce the "j" in my name, so I just said "fer" and my relatives never let it go.
5. I've never seen the ocean. I hope to someday, but have no plans right now.
6. I went to the Global Medical Missions Health Conference last weekend, and it has me seriously thinking about doing some sort of overseas medical missions after graduation. Which incidentally scares the living daylights out of me.
7. I am going to try the Guardian CGMS again next month. I promise I'll talk about my last experience...in my spare time.
I honestly could not find 7 people who had not been tagged, so I tag all the lurkers. Put your answers on the comments on my or another blog. And you have a blog and you haven't been tagged and I missed it, then I tag you!

World Diabetes Day

2007-11-14T17:50:00.000-05:00

When I see the pictures of all the things that happened around the world today all in the name of diabetes, it makes my heart happy. I would have loved to be a part of them, but it just wasn't possible. I am so glad for such an awesome event that raises awareness. I saw several news stories on it already, and I'm sure there will be many more to come.
Happy World Diabetes Day!

What's wrong with this picture?

2007-11-11T18:53:00.000-05:00

I got a bag of candy the other day (What? A diabetic bought chocolate? Tsk) and as soon as I unwrapped it, I wondered what kind of message the Hersey's corporation was trying to send me....

and then later, this one.

Maybe I'll have to rethink my choices of candy....

Shhhh!!

2007-10-19T20:15:00.000-05:00

Shhh...Don't tell anyone, but my Guardian has caught three lows in the past two days!
But I did not say it out loud, and writing it will not jinx it.

2007-10-17T13:55:00.000-05:00

I've thought over and over again about this post, and what I should say.
A brief rundown of the events since my last post. At Allison's suggestion and my desperation, I put in new sensor in on Sunday, the 7th. I was hoping to make each sensor last about a week or so, because I had 4 sensors and a month to use them. That sensor seemed to do alright for a day or so, but my blood sugars were also pretty decent. Wednesday, I restarted the sensor, and got another decent day out of it. On Thursday however, everything fell apart. I got a "cal error" at lunch. It showed me in the high 200s, when I knew I was just fine. I had been keeping a close eye on my blood sugar, to see if an ever challenging bagel breakfast bolus was working like it should. I had been consistently clocking in at 100 to 120. Maybe I should haven't have calibrated then, but I was frustrated at it's inaccuracy. Later that day, in a major national exam, the Guardian just went crazy. First, it told me a high glucose was predicted. Whatever, I felt fine, and I was in the middle of this very important exam. Not 15 minutes later, "Fall Rate." This is supposed to mean my blood sugar is falling more than 3mg/dL. Again, I ignored it again. Not 5 minutes later, "Rise Rate." By this point, I was ready to throw the thing out the window. I wasn't supposed to have any electronic devices in the room. I took my chances, and brought the Guardian. Then, I was forced to check it every 5 minutes because it kept alerting. When I got done with the exam (which I passed with flying colors, despite the annoying interruptions) I placed another annoying phone call to Minimed, who did not even want to help me, saying I should contact my doctors office. Finally, she told me I should re-calibrate when I was positive my blood sugars were perfectly level. I felt like telling her- look, I'm diabetic, if I knew when my blood sugars were going to be perfectly level, I wouldn't need technology like the Guardian! She said if I wanted to be completely sure it was back in line with my blood glucose, to restart the sensor. That's what I did. All Thursday night, it alarmed like crazy. First high alarms, then low alarms, all of which were disproved by a fingerstick. After a very frustrating, sleepless night, I tore the sensor out and put the receiver back in the box. I had enough. I kept it off all weekend, while I wrestled with what to do. My ideas ranged from putting it back on, to driving it back to the doctor's office 3 weeks early and telling them never to give it to anyone else. Calling Minimed for help is no longer an option. I've had three unhelpful conversations with them, most ending with them swearing their product is practically flawless, and I must be doing something wrong. Granted, they can't tell me what that is, but it is not their problem. They seem to have a mental barrier to the fact that I did not buy the unit, that I'm only borrowing it. Sorry for the tangent, back to reality.
Sunday, the 14th, I decided to give it another shot. I was going to make sure there was no reason for error. I put the sensor it 4 hours after lunch, with no additional food or insulin. Chances were, my blood sugars were not going far. I waited the 2 hour warm up period, still eating nothing, and taking no insulin. I waited another 45 minutes after the first calibration before I ate anything and took any insulin. I am only calibrating the recommended 2 times a day(I had been doing 3), first time in the morning, after fasting, and now in the evening, which I have also made a fasting time of day to prevent any possible errors. I hate that I am modifying my life to appease a piece of equipment that is supposed to help me. The accuracy has improved minimally. If I am between 80 and 150, it is very close, almost always within the 20% guideline. As soon and I drop out of that range however, the Guardian is way, way off. I realize that even fingersticks are more accurate with normal numbers, but I am talking about a difference of at least 100 points. It still has not caught an actual low. Most of the time, it showed me holding steady in the 80-90 range, while my blood sugar is in the 50's. I have decided to get over my disappointment and move on. The biggest reason I wanted to borrow the Guardian is to get my basals nailed down really well. To do that, my blood sugars should be within the 80 to 150 range anyway. I will continue to monitor my blood sugars like I normally would (not the 20 or so times I did for several days trying to figure out what the heck was going on with the Guardian) and give up on the dream that this equipment could help me prevent highs and lows. Someday maybe it will get there, but it has not arrived for me. Not yet anyway.

Not Impressed

2007-10-06T11:21:00.000-05:00

I am on day 4 of the Guardian, and I'm not going to lie, I'm disappointed. We all know there are peaks and valleys in our blood sugars. I wish they didn't happen, and I try and prevent them, but usually when I graph out my blood sugars there they are, the hills and valleys of highs and lows. With the Guardian, there are no hills or valleys, there are only ant hills and minor puddles. It has only caught one low blood sugar, and never shows me as high as my blood says I am. With lows, it might say I go down to 82 or so, not the 50's I'm actually experiencing. The Guardian might show I'm up to 200, but a finger stick shows I'm actually 260. Last night, I went down to 60, and the Guardian showed me holding steadily at 150. I'm sorry, but that is a huge, unacceptable difference. The first full day I had the Guardian, I was ready to believe every number it showed me. I just did a minimum number of blood sugar checks before meals, and fully thought that my blood sugars really were that amazing, almost never straying outside of the 80 to 120 range. Now I am not that sure. I am still checking my blood sugar 8 to 10 times a day. I hope as time goes on that maybe I find out why it shows such differences, but for now, I just don't trust it. I am greatly disappointed in this piece of equipment. I thought this was the next greatest, life changing piece of equipment. I thought maybe it would be worth fighting the insurance company for coverage, but for now I think it would be a waste of time.

19 Years

2007-10-03T20:27:00.000-05:00

Nineteen years ago today, I was diagnosed with diabetes.
Today, I feel very diabetic. That might sound strange to some. There are some days when diabetes sinks into the background and routines take over. Today though it is on the forefront of my mind. On my left side, I wear my Cozmo and Quick-set, almost silently delivering insulin. On the right, the Guardian RT and mini-link transmitter, attempting to tell me if the pump is giving me the right amount if insulin. These are part of my life now and they are reminders of what I need to do to survive and thrive.
I’ve thought a lot lately how diabetes has altered my life, and it is something that I can not honestly answer. It is such a part of me, that I cannot image what life would be like if I had never gotten this disease. Has it made me more sympathetic? Maybe. More cautious? Perhaps. Less spontaneous? Probably. But this is who I am now. I am a college student. I am a Christian. I am a daughter and an aunt. I am also a diabetic. That’s just the way it is.
I am not celebrating today, and I’m not mourning it either. It’s just another day in my life. A day like the past 6,935 that happens to include insulin, blood sugar checks and carbohydrate counting.

First Impressions

2007-10-02T22:27:00.000-05:00

I am officially hooked up to a Guardian Real Time System. They gave me a whole new setup, so I felt like I was getting it "for real" and that I didn't have to give it back in a month. I am unsure about my feelings of it yet. It is too soon, and I've had too many issues. From the beginning:
One of my biggest fears was wearing and inserting the sensor. I was expecting the insertion of the sensor to hurt like &^*$ because it went in at an angle (angled sites and I have a bad history) and then the nurse offered me ice, saying most everyone used it. After about a minute of sitting there with the ice on my stomach, and getting more nervous by the second, I just went for it. I did not hurt a bit. It takes a little bit of work to get the inserter off of the site, and it is a little nerve wracking. With a pump site, you mess it up, and it's not that big of a deal. With a sensor, it's like flushing twenty dollar bills down the toilet. Overall, a lot easier than I thought. It actually hurt less than my pump sites.
After my training was done, they sent me on my way, with the instruction to do a 2 hour calibration check before the system would actually start working. Not 15 minutes down the road, I got a "sensor error" alert. Not exactly what I wanted to see. After pouring through the manual, I finally found out that one of those alerts is really no big deal, but multiple alerts aren't so great. Ok, I'm good to go. I thought. Until 20 minutes later, when I got the same alert. Soo I called the Minimed people, who had me restart the 2 hour start up period. So 5 hours after my initial appointment, I was finally getting readings. For a few hours, it went pretty well. I checked the number on the screen every 15 minutes or so, just for the joy of it. I felt like it was fairly accurate, until about half an hour ago, when I could feel myself falling. But the graph stayed steady. As I was walking back to my room from a friends house, I became more and more sure that I was dropping. But the Guardian did not agree. I know it takes some time to catch up with rapidly changing numbers, but I felt like I was dropping for a good half an hour. I checked, and my meter said 75. Not exactly an emergency, but not the 188 the Guardian claimed. Here's where I made my first big mistake: I plugged that number into the Guardian. Bad move. It needs calibration numbers that are not rapidly changing. After it thought for a good long while, I got a "cal error." So I'm not getting any data now, and I'm in the waiting game for my blood sugar to even out so I can calibrate it again. I'm hoping it becomes more accurate as time goes on, and I learn how to best take advantage of this technology.

I did it

2007-10-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

I participated in the JDRF walk. Not the one I normally go to, but one that took place several weeks later. It was actually a lot of fun. There were a lot more people at this walk, and it was a lot more upbeat. They had face painting and a lot of things my niece would love. The walk was thru the heart of downtown, and I got to see a lot of things that I never would have seen before. Although I did not raise a lot of money, I'm really glad I ended up doing it, even if it was a last minute affair.
This week is a pretty significant D week. Tomorrow I get my temporary Guardian CGMS. I want to love it, but I'm trying to be realistic and realize that there will probably be times when I will hate it.
Wednesday will be my diagnosis anniversary. I will have been living with this disease for 19 years.
Needless to say, this will be a trying week for me. Look for frequent updates.

2007-09-26T17:48:00.001-05:00

My endo appointment was somewhat productive. My A1c was 7.1. Last time was 7.0. I've been shooting for under 7%, and I'm just not there yet. We fiddled with some basal rates, and changed some insulin to carb rations. I'm still working on it, and it continues to be a struggle, that to be honest, I don't always feel like fighting.
I still don't have my lab work back, meaning I still don't know if my thyroid is working normally, or anything else that they were checking. I'm a little frustrated, although I figure if it has taken this long to get back to me, they must be normal.
Next week, I take one very large, nerve-wracking step. I go on a trial run of Minimed's Guardian CGMS. My doctor's office has a unit that they lend out for a month or so at a time. My doctor really pushed me to try it, saying that he would be more than willing to help me fight my insurance company if it was something I was interested in. I am still not that sold on the idea of wearing two different sites on my body. But then, there are those nights that I wake up at 36mg/dL and terrified, that make me think it would be more than worth it. I think the warranty on my Cozmo runs out next summer, so maybe this will be one of the deciding factors for it I stick with them, or look at a Minimed again. Although I've had MAJOR issues with Minimed, the technology that they are offering right now is ahead of that of Cozmo. Believe me, it pains me to say that.
So as of next week, I'll be hooked up to 2 machines 24/7. I'll be sure to tell you what I think. Any advice?

This n' That

2007-09-06T20:44:00.000-05:00

*I went on JDRF's website today because I was curious when the local Walk was taking place, since I hadn't received any information. I was shocked to find out its next weekend. Now I'm in a pickle. I've done the walk for 10 years. It is always a lot of work, and always seems anticlimactic in some way. But yet, I feel hypocritical if I don't participate. I once again have a lot going on this semester, and writing a heartfelt fundraising letter just doesn't sound that appealing.
*I have an endo appointment on Monday that I feel unprepared for, but then again, I rarely feel fully prepared. I always swear that I'm going to test all of my basals at least twice and test my correction factor, but it never happens.
*I had drawn Wednesday to test my thyroid function and a bunch of other things. Usually it is just a routine test, but this time I have reason to believe there might be something going on. Last time I had it checked, the level jump quite a bit, but was still normal, and I have some vague symptoms that could be attributed to hypothyroidism. Or just as easily not. We shall see.
* I am quitting my job tomorrow. I am incredibly nervous, but I know it is the right decision. There is just no way I can keep my sanity with a class load of 17 credits and working 20 hours a week. Sorry, not on top of my clinical rotations and everything else. It was a great experience that I would have liked to continue. But like my brother said, I'll have plenty of time to work after I graduate.
*I went to ColdStone tonight with some friends, and had the most delightful, sinful bowl of ice cream called Peanut Butter Perfection. It was heavenly. My blood sugar 2hours postprandial? 105. Yessssss!
*Not everything is going that well, however. I have Kevin's new blood sugar log, which I love. The new pie chart is awesome, but it is telling me things I don't want to see. Like the fact that I'm "in range" only 49% of the time. The rest being mostly high (41%). I do not like this. At all. For now, I'm just logging and hoping my endo will fix it for me.

Why don't they understand?

2007-09-04T17:36:00.001-05:00

I picked up more insulin at the pharmacy the other day. More accurately, I went to the pharmacy Monday, Thursday and Friday to get more insulin. Getting prescriptions from them is always an adventure, invariably they will only bill one insurance company, or will have some other redundant question. This time, I chose to go through the drive thru, which turned out to be a wise choice. I told them my name, and watched as they got the prescription bag, and picked up a bottle of insulin OFF THE COUNTER, put it in my bag, and handed it to me. For a split second, I debated what to do. I know that bottle wasn't sitting on the counter because they just got done putting the label on the box, I called it in the day before, to be sure it would be ready by the time I got to the pharmacy. I had no idea how long that bottle of life sustaining, refrigeration required bottle of medication had been sitting on the counter. I decided I couldn't keep silent. I don't always go through all three bottles of insulin in a month, what happens when they sit in my refrigerator longer than that? Who can guarantee that they will be good until the date on the box? What's the point of even putting a expiration date on the box when the pharmacy blatantly ignores the instructions? As the technician handed me the bag I said, "why wasn't this refrigerated?" His answer? "It doesn't need to be refrigerated if you use it within a month." I proceeded to briefly argue with him, before deciding that even though his whole occupation revolves around medications, he apparently didn't understand how important it is that these medications work exactly as they are supposed to. I drove off feeling frustrated that yet another medical professional had failed me. I am now making the policy that when I pick up my insulin, I either need to see them take it out of the refrigerator, or it needs to be cool to the touch. I don't care it that makes me an annoying patient, I need to know my insulin is safe.
Oh, the other thing that frustrated me? They only had one bottle of Humalog insulin available in the whole pharmacy! They were OUT of insulin. I would have to return Wednesday to get the rest of my prescription. I gave them an extra day for good measure, and went back Thursday, only to be told it still wasn't ready, forcing me to make another trip back on Friday. If this pharmacy wasn't my only option in pretty much the whole state, I would switch, but I think I'm going to find these problems everywhere.

There are just some things you have to blog about....

2007-08-05T15:44:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was just one of those days. It all started around 2:00am. I woke up feeling low, quite low. I threw a tab in my mouth while I checked myself. I was 39. #*$A%*(!!! Inhaled 2 more tabs and a fruit snack. And a package of crackers. Checked again(all of 5 minutes later) 43. I walked to the kitchen and inhaled more food, now in full on panic mode. Any number below 50 and I panic. I corrected before bed at 11:30, so I still had a little insulin working. After 20 minutes I checked again, ringing in at 136. Satisfied, I returned to bed, trying to decide how much to bolus for my obvious overeating. I decided to wait another 15 minutes and see what would happen with more time. 123. Crap. Another 15 minutes. 110. I foolishly decided to go to sleep with that blood sugar, and not bolus for any food. I woke up at 8:00am with a very full bladder. Never a good sign. I tested in at a horrific 450. 39 to 450 in six hours. That has to be some sort of a record. I felt like I spent the rest of the day recovering, and fighting more lows. It ended up being one of those days when diabetes took control, and not the other way around, and I hate that.

Pushing the limits

2007-05-16T19:53:00.000-05:00

This post really did not turning out the way I thought it was going to, but I'm just going to let it ramble on. Have fun reading. :-)
I really feel like I've been pushing the limits diabetes wise lately. I always do to a certain extent. I never rush to check and treat when I feel my blood sugar drop. I feel my lows in the high 70's, and I've never passed out, so I'm never in a rush. I wait until it is convenient. I know its not smart, but I do it. I ran short of test strips again this month, so I had to cut down to testing 4 times a day and when those strips ran out, I used some expired strips. They seemed fairly accurate, and matched up with my freestyle readings, but who really knows?
Last week, there were several days that I didn't have a single number above 70 or below 300. I know I must have been normal at some point in between there, but I never caught it. Now that I've cracked down and started charting again, they've come back close to normal, but I'm actually going to try and have some really solid basal testing and more before my endocrinologist appointment next week. I really have to wonder sometimes what those roller coasters are doing to my body.
I started my new job Tuesday. More accurately, I started orientation for my new job. Let me tell you, I HATE it. Once I got hired for the position, I had major doubts. This is my first real job, and it comes with a lot of fear. I still have my job at home, and that carries responsibilities that did not go away when I got hired at the hospital. There are a lot of other stressors like my desire to work at my local diabetes camp, and not being able to find out if I can get the time off, or if I should even ask. The lack of communication I experienced before my interview continues. I get information only a couple of days before the event, and that worries me. I still do not know when I start actual work, and at this point, I'm doubting if I even want to. I'm sure it will get better, I just can't see the end of the very dark tunnel ahead of me.

I got it!

2007-05-07T19:28:00.000-05:00

I got the job!!!
I got a call last Tuesday, but I couldn't get in contact with the woman who called me until she finally picked up today! And I got it! The bad news is that I can't start until the beginning of June, but I don't really care, because I got it!

Interview!!

2007-04-25T15:16:00.000-05:00

I have my very first job interview tomorrow!!! It is for one of the millions of nursing assistant jobs I've applied for. This is the first time I've ever gotten to the interview process. I am extremely happy, but also extremely nervous. It has been very last minute, which is only increasing my anxiety about it. I didn't find out about the interview until Friday, but I had a conflict. I didn't get my schedule straightened out until last night, and I still don't know exactly where I need to go, because the woman scheduling it hasn't called me back. I'm trying hard not to be really annoyed. So like always, I'm asking a favor of the OC. What are your best entry level job interviewing tips?

*Update*
My interview was today. The scheduler finally called me back at 10am and gave me the details of my interview. She only had a few more minutes before I was going to call and bug her again. The interview went OK. I didn't get a real clear vibe from the interviewer about how it went. He was pretty stoic. I'm hoping to hear sometime next week if I got the job. I don't really don't know what to think about my chances. Thanks for all the advice, especially to Sara for her help.

Coping

2007-04-19T22:06:00.000-05:00

I seemed to have lost you since I stopped posting about diabetes related stuff. Believe me, there is plenty going on. From the fact that my insurance company said I couldn't get any test strips this month because I got too many last month (I've got it partially straighted out), to my bottomless exercise induced lows, to the enduring stress highs. They are all going on, but right now, it isn't top priority in my life like it is sometimes. Right now, I am scared. Not of complications and not of lows. I am scared because Monday an armed gunman killed 32 people on his college campus. He had two hours between his attacks to prepare and ship a package. The rest of the campus was not warned. They went about their business, and some of them were killed later because of it. Now, copy cat acts are springing up all over the place. A friend's high school was shut down today because a student had bomb making equipment in his locker, and planned to use it tomorrow at an all school assembly. Another local community college is shut down for the rest of the week because of a death threat on a professor. There are many more. The possibility that I might not be safe on my own campus is something that never occurred to me. I never thought this would happen in college. People grow up, and grow past their teenage problems, at least many of us do. This is supposed to happen here. The pictures of that man pointing guns at the camera sends chills down my spine. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have that gun pointed at ME. I realize that it is paranoid and unreasonable, but I have found myself wondering what I would do if a gunman entered my campus. Many classrooms have glass doors. There is no way to barricade against those. I found myself anxious about going into the basement of our library today, because there are no windows to flee through. Like I said, I realize these thoughts are irrational, but this is what this tragedy has done to me. Tomorrow, I will wear Orange and Maroon in honor of those who lost their lives. I will heal, I will move on, but I will always remember.

Virginia Tech

2007-04-17T22:33:00.000-05:00

Please keep everyone at Virginia Tech and their family members in your thoughts and prayers. This is something that truly rocks me to the core. As a fellow college student, I can not imagine having to deal with something like this. As many people have said, today we are all Hokie's.

I'm not even going to try to make excuses for my once again long absence. It is just going to have to continue. Between a stomach flu, a chest cold that looked like pneumonia and it being the last month of classes, I've been swamped.

Blogger hates me

2007-03-26T15:31:00.000-05:00

I tried to respond to everyone's comments on my last post, but blogger won't let me comment on my own page, so I'm posting them here.
Chrissie, I do something very similar when I get leg cramps. I alternate from pointing my toes to pointing my heel. It does help, although very painful.
Everyone who suggested bananas for more potassium: Sadly, I can't stand bananas. OJ is supposed to be a decent source too, so I'll try that.
Minnesota Nice: When you had low potassium levels, how often did you get leg cramps?
Virginia: I'll have to check emer-gen-c out next time I get to the store.

Now for a major time waster stolen from facebook.

A bit of everything survey
Basics Name:Jen
Age: 20
Sex: female
Hair color: Blond
Eye color: Blue
Zodiac sign: Capricorn
Heritage/nationality: Dutch mostly
Named after: No one
People you live with: 3 amazing girls!
Favorites
Color: Blue
Band: Right now, I'm on am Emerson Drive kick ( don't hate me for being a country fan)
TV Show: Grey's Anatomy- all the way!
Video Game: It's been YEARS since I've played a video game
Movie: Hmmmmm... Pirates of the Caribbean
Food: Chocolate ice cream
Room in the house:Um, my dorm? it's only one room!
Flower: Gerber Daisies
Animal: Dog
Sport: Basketball
Pizza Topping: Just cheese!
Season: Fall, although I'm a big fan of the 70's we've been having
Shampoo: Don't have one. I need to get a different brand.
Hairspray: Don't use it
CD: Don't have one
Gum: Orbit
Restaurant: Uno's! Best pizza ever!
Late night activity: Facebook/reading blogs. Or lately, finishing homework
Holiday: Christmas
Number: 22
Candy: It's a tie between Kit-Kat and Peanut Butter cups
Song: Depends on my mood
Starbucks beverage: I have NEVER been to a Starbucks. I'm loyal to the local coffee shop.
Are you for or Against...
Prostitution: Against
Drunk Driving: Against. If you want to get drunk, fine with me, but please don't be stupid enough to drive and kill someone.
Legalizing Drugs: Mostly against
Death Penalty: Undecided
Premarital sex: Against
War: Wow, that's a whole can of worms....
Hippies: Um....For??
Clothes on dogs: Against
School Uniforms: Mostly Against
Public Schools: Indifferent
Spam: Against- who really wants spam?
Slavery: Against
Interracial Relationships: For
Arranged Marriages: Against
Republicans: For
Jesus: For
Gun control: Mostly Against.
Organic Farming: Against. Another can of worms, I know.
Britney Spears: I'd be happy if I didn't have to hear about her anymore!
Curfews: For who?
Tommy Hilfiger: I'm not a name brand person. I'm a Target girl
The Atkins Diet: Against.
This or That
Jello or Pudding: Pudding. I've hated Jello for a loooong time.
AIM or MSN: AIM
Hotmail or Yahoo: Hotmail
Carpet or hardwood: Carpet
Cats or Dogs: Dogs
Fish or mice: Fish?
Wine or beer: Neither
Abercrombie or Hot Topic: Again, not a name brand person.
Cake or pie: Pie
Golf or Poker: Poker
Shower or bath: Shower
Independent Films or Big Company Films:Big Films.
Spoons or Forks: Spoons
Do you...
Drink diet pop: When I actually drink pop, which is like 2x/year
Eat a lot of junk food: Sadly, yes
Watch soap operas: Nope.
Watch CSI: Not really
Wear make up: Yes
Take naps: When I need to catch up. They are how I am surviving college
Own a cell phone: Yes
Have a job: Yes
When was the last time you Cursed: Today most likely
Had sex: Never
Went to the mall: Wednesday
Ate:Lunch
Went into a chat room: Forever ago
Drank alcohol: Never
Went bowling: The beginning of the year
Had a sleep over: We have random people sleeping in our room sometimes, does that count?
Got arrested: Ha ha. Never
Went to the movies: It's been a while....Whenever Music and Lyrics came out.
Told someone a secret: I have no idea
Gave someone a gift: A friends birthday in January
Had a gift given to you: Probably my birthday
Brushed your teeth: After lunch
Died your hair: Never
Gave advice: Not long ago

Wow...That wasted a good amount of time. I tag anyone who is procrastinating.
I hope to post soon about my Spring break.

2007-03-15T19:28:00.000-05:00

My, my. How time flies. I've been busy, busy, busy with classes. Today started my Spring Break, and I am so ready for it. I plan on sleeping and catching up on work. Doesn't that sound like a blast?
I also just got done with a month long ban on using stomach sites. I decided it needed a break, and I really needed to explore my other options, so I gave myself a month to do it. It turned out to be a really good experience. I used my thighs almost the entire time. I am now a big fan of them. I used to get a burning sensation when I delivered insulin in my thighs, but now it is only with an especially large bolus. I think I'm going to try and work them into a regular rotation. Even though the month was up, I wasn't in a hurry to go back to my stomach. I usually alternate between one site of my stomach to the other, but maybe now I'll do right leg, right stomach, left stomach, left leg. It would probably be good for the sites.
I had a weird night last night. I sometimes get cramps in my legs (aka Charlie horses). I seem to get them really, really bad. I have to get out of bed and keep my leg moving( even through the excruciating pain) or my calf gets so tight I can't walk the next morning. Sometimes they only last a minute, others have lasted close to half an hour. I hate them with a passion. I hate having them at school even more, because I usually make quite a bit of noise when I get them, and I don't want to wake up my roommate. I tried and tried to find a cause, but never could pin point one. I had an idea that they were usually on days when I walked a lot more than usual, and had a very high blood sugar that day. Well, last night did not fit that scenario. I had my first leg cramp of the semester. Lucky for me, I was also low. I was in pain, and had to get out of bed to work out the cramp, but I was also uncoordinated from sleep and the low. It was not a pretty sight, and I was not happy. I do not like getting up at 3:00am (who does?) and waking up in pain and low was a bad combination. Now, I'm wondering if I should change my idea of what is causing leg cramps. Although it is a fairly isolated incident, I have had lows and leg cramps at the same time before. Now, I'm wondering if this should be a new symptom. I do not want to add "leg cramps" to the list of symptoms of my lows that I have to recite every time I go to my endo. Does anyone else get these cramps in their calves? Do they correspond with highs or lows? This is probably just an isolated incident that has me over analyzing, but it sure was a strange experience!

Memories

2007-02-27T14:04:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking about Penny’s post a while ago titled Because I have to. It made me think about my mom, and my experience with those kinds of lows. I’ve lain in my mom’s lap while she stroked my head willing me to feel better. There were times I cried. There were times I would fall back asleep. I have faint memories of a time I couldn’t communicate because of a bad low. My parents filled in the details. I woke up and walked downstairs. I didn’t say anything, just sat down and started watching TV. I faintly remember my mom shaking my shoulders trying to get me to concentrate and tell her where my meter was. The next thing I remember I was drinking juice and I had a blood stain on my finger. That incident really shook me because I didn’t have any memory of walking downstairs, and my mom checked my blood sugar. At that point my mom hadn’t checked me in years. I knew I was low, but I couldn't tell the person who wanted to help me most. I remember lots of lows, sitting in the kitchen drinking a small glass of apple juice and a graham cracker. Always the same snack and always with my mom. She would turn on the living room light so the light wouldn’t wake up too much. Even now, the first thing I use to treat a low are those little glasses of apple juice. Even now that I treat lows by myself, when I go downstairs to the kitchen to treat I know she is upstairs waiting for me to return. Sometimes she comes down to check on me, and sometimes she’ll ask me if I’m ok when she hears me coming back up the stairs. No matter what, she’ll ask me the next morning if I had a rough night. I really hated those nighttime lows, and still do, but I treasure the memories of her taking care of me. Thanks Mom.

When did I become an angry person?

2007-02-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

First off, thanks to everyone who left ideas for me. I really appreciate them.
I apologize in advance for the following post. It is being written in the heat of a moment, after a long day with very little sleep.

I'm sitting here, trying to study for an exam, thinking over all the times today, and over the last few days that I've been really angry. I am not an angry person normally, but lately, I have become one.
I went to my endo Tuesday. I was expected a rise in my A1c because I am currently in the semester from Hell (I don't swear. Practically never, and this semester is totally worthy of that description.) I had no basal tests. No insulin to carb ratio tests. No 2am tests. Nothing. I was angry at myself, but I knew I just did not have the time or energy to skip meals. It just wasn't happening. My A1c? 7.1. That's down. That's a really good number. But you know what? I was mad. I was actually MAD that it went down, and I did nothing. At all. It just decided to go down. I should not be angry about this, but I am.
My presentation to my Pharmacology study group was tonight. I was nervous. I had to balance the information and the time. As I'm going through the require information, I kept giving things that were not highlighted in the professors notes, but will be really important in the practical setting. My presentation partner kept saying, "but we don't need to know this! This isn't going to be on the exam!" I had to really hold my tongue. I kept a level head, but it was hard. After giving the required information, I had a sheet with some bullet points that I titled "what every type one diabetic wants you to know." I talked about some of the misconceptions, and included most of your suggestions. I thought it went fairly well considering how nervous I was. Later, after the group meeting, I saw one of my group members, and she mentions to my friend that I went "on a rampage" during our meeting. I was dumbfounded. I did not raise my voice. I simply told them what I thought they should know. I put it in the context that I have had many of these things said to me, and I would like to make sure that they, as health care providers, did not make the same mistakes that would loose the respect and trust of their patients. I did not think I ranted or rampaged. Now, I'm afraid that the whole group thinks I'm a raging lunatic. Don't they get this is my entire life? This is what I eat, think and breathe all the time, every day? This is my life people! Of course I'm passionate about it!!!!!! I live and will die by this disease! I am so angry that she actually said that to me.
As I was thinking about how I needed to write this all out, I opened up blogger to post this. It would not let me sign on until I upgraded to the new blogger. Again, I felt anger rising within me. What if I don't want to upgrade? I' m just learning the old blogger! I don't want to learn a new one! I just want to write a freaking post!
I am an angry person. This is what all the stress has done to me. It makes me angry that I haven't been below 200 all day long, and that I have to change my site. It makes me angry that my suitemate asks the most ridiculous questions over and over again. It makes me angry that people are so stupid. It all makes me so angry, and I don't want to take it any more! UUGGHH!!!

What would you want them to know?

2007-02-11T16:23:00.000-05:00

Once again, I want your input on something. If you had an opportunity to tell your future nurses anything you wanted about diabetes and its care, what would you like them to know?
One of my classes this semester is Pharmacology. I am in a study group with 5 other nursing students. The next chapter is on medications for the treatment for diabetes. I am taking this golden opportunity to educate the nurses of tomorrow. I'm having trouble figuring out which information is the most important. I thought I would get the opinions of other diabetics (or people with diabetes, depending on who you are :-) ). What are the biggest things nurses/doctors do that annoy you in reference to diabetes? What should they know? What do they "know" that needs to be unlearned? Basically, like the title says: What do you want them to know?

2007-02-09T08:20:00.000-05:00

Awake

Falling, falling, falling

Juice

Sip

Swallow

Sip

Swallow

Sip-

Empty

Slipping, slipping, slipping

FOOD!

Fruitsnack

Chew

Swallow

Chew

Swallow

Falling!

Food!

Blood sugar?

Fumlbe

61

Relief

“Oh good, I’m low”

Slipping

Food!

Granola bar

Chew

Swallow

Chew

Swallow

FOOD!

Fruitsnack

Mouthful

Chew

Swallow

Slipping
Slipping
Slipping
Falling
Falling
Falling
Dark
Dark
Dark
Dark
Dark

Beep?

Beep?

Beep?

Pump?

“Your last blood glucose was low”

Confusion

Meter

356

Crap!

Bolus

Remembrance

Understanding

Fear

My new favorite song

2007-01-30T13:23:00.000-05:00

My brother recently introduced me to Weird Al.
I love this song.

The video is nothing much, but oh, the words to the song. It just gets better the more I listen to it. Even if I don't love my pancreas, this is a great song.

Ranting and Raving

2007-01-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

I saw a classic example this week of how badly extreme stress sends my blood sugar through the roof. Classic example: Wednesday, just before a major stress event, my blood sugar was a wonderful 123. Two hours later, with no food, a horrible 319.
What was the stress event? Well, that is a GREAT story. Be forewarned: I'm still angry.
Tuesday night, my parents stopped by my dorm room. They dropped off my mail, which included my statement from my wonderful (Did you catch the sarcasm?) college. I figured it was just that, a statement, saying I had a zero balance, since I had dropped my tuition check off two weeks prior.
Oh no. Of course not.
It's a statement with a late fee added on saying that I haven't paid. I knew full well I had paid. I made a special trip out to school to buy my books (all $1,000.95 worth) and to hand deliver my tuition check. Wednesday morning, I stop by to straighten out what I assumed was a simple mistake. I was armed with a copy of my check. I asked the woman at the front desk, who helpfully told me simply "we show you haven't paid." Well, thanks a lot. I couldn't figure that out by the Late notice statement I got! Finally after staring at each other for a minute, both thinking each other was crazy, she suggested I go see Kevin. Well, who the heck is Kevin? She pointed me to his office. I walked in, now starting to get a little angry. He did a search of their records, which showed no check of my amount ever processed there. So, basically, they LOST my check. He advised me to stop payment on the check. I was SO incredibly, fiercely angry. Now, I am a crier. I cry when I'm sad, when I'm frustrated and when I'm angry, and boy was I angry. So, of course, I started crying. I didn't expect to gain anything from it, but I did. They paid for the fees associated with the cancelled check fee, and promptly cancelled the late fee. I think I deserved that much since they LOST a check. MY check. I didn't even trust the Postal Service to deliver my check, so I hand delivered it. Now, I guess I've learned even that is not enough. I have to be annoying as sin and make them process it right then and there. Lesson Learned.
Rant Over.

2007-01-16T23:53:00.000-05:00

I'm back!
I've been back on campus for a week, and my, what a week it has been. I started my nursing classes, and they are harder than I could have even imagined. I have seven classes including: Pharmacology, Nutrition, Microbiology, Health assessment, Pharmacology, Intro to Nursing and Basic Skills. Needless to say, while I have thought about blogging many, many times, homework has taken priority. My pharmacology professors told us to expect to read 12 to 16 hours a week for that class alone. Plus, I have classes that I need several hours outside of class time to practice. It is all a little overwhelming.
Partly because of all that stress, my blood sugars, up until the past few days have been a frightening roller coaster. There were two days in a row that I had a range of about 45 to 450. Yes, that does mean I hit the forties twice and the 450's twice. Just when I thought I was going to loose it, it started evening out. The past two days have been much better. It is a huge relief. I was stuck in a constant struggle between lows and their rebounds. I'm glad the cycle has stopped, if only momentarily while I gather my sanity.
Even though I have not been posting, I have been trying to keep up on reading. I hope I haven't lost all of you, my precious readers, due to my long absence. I will be trying to update more often, if only for my own sanity.

Just because it's cute, I thought I'd close with a picture of my niece from this summer.

2006-12-19T19:54:00.000-05:00

I'm alive.
I think.
The holidays have kept me very busy. On top of all the Christmas stuff, I've been fighting the cold I got from babysitting my niece for the weekend(wasn't she so kind to pass it on to me?) and not getting enough sleep from my mini-road trip to Chicago.
I'm busy, very busy.
I've decided that rather than feel guilty about not updating, I'd put the blog on hold for a while. Instead, I will wait until my birthday (as of Friday I won't be a teenager anymore!)and Christmas is over, and I have my high speed internet connection back. Dial up is the worst!
Happy Holidays everyone!

343

2006-12-10T18:30:00.000-05:00

I'm 343, and my concentration is shot. The next hour, if not more, is worthless. Usually, not a big deal. When cramming for finals, however, it is more than a little annoying. I have mountains of information that I need to learn in the next few days, and precious little time to do it. Now, my brain is all fuzzy. I feel like I'm in la-la land. I keep getting distracted even typing this post. Grr. I guess I'm going to have to resort myself to doing dishes and other unpleasant tasks until my blood sugar comes down and I can concentrate.

Exam week

2006-12-09T09:48:00.000-05:00

I have final exams next week. Exam week = death. I'm sick of studying already, and I've barely studied. I plan to spend most of the day studying. I'm banning myself from reading blogs today. My list of blogs just keeps growing. It takes quite a while to read through all of them. This is great when I want to procrastinate, but I can't afford to do that this weekend. I'll be studying my life away! As long as I can keep my concentration, and something like this doesn't happen again, I should be fine.

Glycemic Index

2006-12-03T19:29:00.000-05:00

I'm currently working on writing a paper on the glycemic index and the control of blood glucose. Why? Because my Physiology lab won't let me do the endocrinology lab. Why? Because eating food is BAD for diabetics. Grrrr. ANYWAY. I've never really gotten into the glycemic index. The research I've been finding is very conflicting. The Glycemic index is either a great thing or an evil thing, depending on who writes the article. I'm looking at reputable sites, like the American Diabetes Association and the American Dietetic Association. My question is: What does the OC, as a group of people who need to control their blood glucose think of the glycemic index? Has anyone seen any good studies on it? Have you tried it? What did you think?
Thanks!

I'm OK!

2006-12-02T23:26:00.000-05:00

I got my urine test results back yesterday. My kidneys are 100% fine. All tests were normal. I am so relieved. As much as I was trying not to worry about it, I still thought about it too much. I'm glad it's done with.
I listened to my intuition today, and it was right. I put a new site in this morning. I felt like I should leave the old site in, just in case. I do not normally do that. The site usually itches enough that I want to get rid of it. It was a good thing I left it in, because just a few hours later (while away from home) I had a blocked tubing alert. I just had to disconnect from the new site and connect to the old. I felt a little like a robot that needed to plug in, but it saved me a whole lot of stress and extra work! I might have to do that a little more often.
Life is once again busy, busy, busy! I have one more week of class until exams, and then Christmas break! I'm really for a little R&R. There are so many things that come with the end of the semester, that I don't know how often I'll be updating. I'll try and keep reading though! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

2006-11-20T18:10:00.000-05:00

This list was made by a girl a few years younger than I who went to my high school. She was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks into her freshman year. She achieved remission, then relapsed. She had a bone marrow transplant. Then her kidneys started failing, so she had a kidney transplant. The prolonged steroid use damaged both her hips so she had hip replacement in both hips, one at a time. She has recurring Graft vs. Host disease (bad news for bone marrow patients). She has gone through SO MUCH! Yet she is so thankful. I know so often I grip so much it is easy to loose focus of the good things in life. Over this week, I'm going to try and make a list of my own. I encourage you to do the same. At some point, I'll post my list.
Her list:
1. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
2. A hot shower.
3. No lines at the grocery store.
4. Getting mail.
6. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
7. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
8. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
9. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
10. Laughing/giggling.
11. A good conversation.
12. Finding a 20 in your coat from last winter.
13. Laughing at yourself.
14. Running through sprinklers.
15. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
16. Friends.
17. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
18. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
19. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
20. Playing with a new puppy.
21. Sweet dreams.
22. Road trips with friends..or crazy ones with family!
23. Swinging on swings.
24. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
25. Winning a really competitive game...such as BOGGLE with my mom.
26. Making chocolate chip cookies and eating so much dough you feel sick.
27. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
28.HUGS!!
29. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
30. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
31. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
32. Watching the sunrise and knowing who made it.
33. A special glance.
34. Being able to drink as much liquid as you want after having a kidney transplant...ok so not everyone understands this one..:)
35. Game night.
36. The smell of horses and hay...ok not for everyone :)
37. GETTING OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING AND THANKING GOD FOR ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

My Thankful list: ( A work in progess)
I have no homework tonight (I know, its a miracle.)
I have a warm roof over my head.
I have friends who support me.
I have a wonderful family who love and supports me unconditionally.
2 bottles of paid for insulin in the fridge.
Technology that keeps me ticking each and every day.
My admission to the nursing program
My endocrinologist who is the best!
My health, kidney condition or not.

A meme

2006-11-18T22:05:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Major Bedhead

Explain what ended your last relationship?
Um...yeah. I've always been single. Depressing, I know.

When was the last time you shaved?
Um..Friday.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Sleeping!!! :-) I love Saturdays when I have no plans.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Reading blogs.

Are you any good at math?
Depends on which kind of math. I'm not bad at Algebra, but I'm lost with geometry.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
Junior year was stressful (I was on 2 planning committees). Senior year was more fun. I didn't dance at all.

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Nope.

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Oh heck yes. I am in dept up to my eyeballs. Luckily, if I work for 5 years as a nurse, I don't have to pay one of them back.

Last thing received in the mail?
A flyer for some event on campus. I don't get much mail.

How many different beverages have you had today?
One. Just water.

Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine?
Yes, although I always think I sound stupid.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
A Christian equivalent of NSync or Backstreet boys. They were called Plus One.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
No.

What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
I've never had any dental procedures. I've never had any cavities.

What is out your back door?
I don't really have a back door...I just have the one door and outside of that is the hallway of my dorm.

Any plans for Friday night?
Yesterday I hung out with friends. Next Friday? No idea. I don't plan that far in advance.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I've never seen the ocean.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
No

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes, in elementary school.

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
I'm a college student. Anything to generate less laundry is a GOOD THING.

Some things you are excited about?
Thanksgiving break!

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
I HATE jello. I think it's because it was a free food when I was little so I had massive amounts of it, and can't stand it anymore.

Describe your keychain(s)?
Two keys: car and house. College keychain, one from Colorado, Chicago and DC.

Where do you keep your change?
A ladybug piggy bank. (It's my i-pod fund. In a few years I might actually be able to afford one).

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I have no idea.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
A purple Columbia coat.

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny, I don't really remember the temp. I think it was nice.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Closed.

2006-11-15T10:43:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what I am doing computer, and html code wise. I couldn't even put the code in for the diabetes OC ring. It took me several months to figure out how to put in links. So I need a little help. Why is my about me and all that on the bottom of my page? Any ideas?
My second question is about beta blogger. Should I switch? Is it better, or will it just confuse the crap out of me?
Thanks in advance!

*edit*
Muahahahaha! I figured it out! My post about getting into the nursing program with its six million exclamation points was messing everything up. It's back to normal now!

I REFUSE to be scared.

2006-11-13T19:40:00.000-05:00

I had an endocrinologist appointment today. It was really short at just under an hour. My a1c was 7.4. I was somewhat pleased with that number. I expected it be higher, based on my control lately. But I had set a goal for myself of having an a1c right around 7.0. Six months ago, I was there. It has risen every since. First 7.2, now 7.4. The other slightly bad news is that I had protein in my urine. I know it can happen sometimes and not mean anything. I am more worried about what it COULD mean. I am trying my best NOT to be scared. I am 19 and I do not want to be dealing with complications. Dialysis is something that scares almost as much as loosing my eye sight. I refuse to live the next few weeks until I do a repeat test in fear. I can not do that to myself. Odds are, because of where I am in my cycle, (sorry guys) it is nothing. Here's hoping that's true.

D-blog Day

2006-11-09T20:39:00.000-05:00

I am taking a class called physiology right now. For those who don't know, it's pretty much the "How things work" for the body. It's crazy hard, but I like it. There is a three hour lab every week where we pretty much run medical test on ourselves. Today was the urine lab.
I dreaded this lab just about as much as the I am dreading the upcoming endocrine lab. What will my class say about my most likely abnormal test results? Which ones will be abnormal? Will I discover some complication today? Will there be blood or protein in my urine? Are you kidneys starting there decline? I'm sure others in my lab were not worried they would have abnormal test results. But I was.
I am a diabetic.
I have long accepted that.
I have been relatively lucky. I have had pretty decent control with not a whole lot of work. Except lately. Lately, is has take SO MUCH WORK! They say (who, I can't remember, but someone said it) that it takes an hour a day to manage diabetes. Some days that seems low, and some days it seems high. But let's think about that. An hour a day, for 17 years. That's 6,205 hours. 258 days. TWO HUNDRED FIFTY EIGHT DAYS!! Think of all I could have done with those days. That's three quarters of a year I could have wasted on something else entirely. Wow. If that doesn't blow you away, I don't know what will. I had another whole point, but I am so blow away by that, I'm just going to wait. 258 days. Gone.

Out of Control

2006-11-07T21:44:00.000-05:00

I have had so many things to blog about lately, and absolutely no time to write about them. This week is my catch up week. The competition/choir I was a part of is now done (my class won, in case you were wondering- Go 09!). That gives me an extra couple of hours a night. I got into the nursing program, which is a HUGE relief, but it brings a whole new set of things to do. Next semester is going to be INSANE. I am taking 7 classes. It will be worth it though.
My control has been so horrible. I did not realize how horrible until I downloaded my pump in preparation for my endo appointment Monday. My daily averages have been in the 200's. As high as 260. YIKES! That is horrible. I don't know if it is just because I've been so busy, because I've had(actually still have) a cold or a combo of both. So starting today, i cracked down. Every single carb that enters my mouth is getting bolused for. I am making myself stop and think before I eat, and after I check myself so I can figure out what's going on. I have been merely reacting. I was still testing and bolusing, but just the bare minimum. I have not been proactive about how to prevent huge spikes and valleys. I will not be able to get it reigned back in by the time I go to the doctor on Monday, but at least I will have a plan. Its a good thing I printed the information off. It was a real wake-up call. Once I think back on it, I know I could make myself feel a lot better by lowering my blood sugars. Already today I've seen a little bit of difference in how I feel. Here's hoping I can continue!

2006-10-24T16:09:00.000-05:00

I
Got
in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words can not express how happy I am right now.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read this

STRESS!!!

2006-10-18T15:13:00.000-05:00

My stress level is so high right now. I'm afraid my brain might explode. There is no end in sight. Ok, maybe in a month, but not before. What is stressing my out. Let me count a few of the ways...
1. My 83 year old grandma had knee replacement surgery. Came out fine, today, she is confused and groggy. Not. Good.
2. I am doing this choir type thing at school that involves practice for 2.5 hours EVERY NIGHT.
3. I have 5 test strips left. Friendly supply company called today to say they don't carry them at their store anymore, they have to ship them to me.
4. I now have to make a trip to Walgreens and spend who know how much because the company doesn't bother to let me know!
5.News on my nursing application is due any day now.
6. Midterm grades are due today.
7. I have 3 major exams next week.
8. I am sick. Again.

I know it doesn't seem like much, but put it all together and AHH!!!

This has been another pointless rant by Jen.

2006-10-16T21:19:00.000-05:00

Ross man
I don't know who you are, but you just MADE MY DAY!!!
That is AMAZING!! Everyone, go here and click on ross man's name. You will die laughing. I did.

2006-10-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

1. Do you still have tonsils?
Yes.
2. Would you bungee jump?
No way!! Heights are one of my biggest fears!

3. If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would you do?
Nursing.

4. How many tattoos do you have?
None.

5. Your favorite fictional animal?
The liger. Not really, I just couldn't come up with anything better.

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?
My Niece

7. Do you consider yourself organized?
Depends on the situation. For the most part, yes.
8. Any addictions?
Chocolate and certain TV shows.

9 From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Ummmm....you mean there are things going on outside my college? Really? There are things going on outside this bubble?
One in a great while, I turn on the news on TV, but usually I don't get my news from anywhere! Sad, but true.
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?
A Carnival.

11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you
grew up?
A doctor, and EMT or a teacher

12. Best movie you've seen this year?
Chronicles of Narnia (that was less than a year ago, right?)

13. Favorite alcoholic drink.
Not 21. :-)
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Shut off my alarm clock and check my bg.

15. Siblings?
2 older brothers, both married

16. What is the best thing about your job?
I can often do homework and get paid for it. :-)

17. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Nope

18. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
Right now, I want to be able to change the weather. Right now, its SNOWING!!!! IT"S OCTOBER!!!
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
YES! I LOVE Ikea!! My futon in my dorm room, and my desk at home are both from there, plus a bunch of little stuff.

20. Have you ever gone camping?
Every fall with the fam!

21. Gas prices - first thought
Not as bad as they have been.

22. Your favorite cartoon character?
The baby from the Incredibles. Watch Jack-Jack attack. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I've baby sat kids like that!

23. What was your first car?
A 1986 Buick Park Avenue. Now remember, I was BORN in 1986. This car was OLDER than I was.

24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No.

25. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
Hmmmm. Depends on my mood. I used to love the cosby show, but I don't know when its on anymore.

26. Do you go to church?
I try and go every week, but sometimes sleep overpowers it. I do try and go to chapel 2-3 times a week though, and that is kind of like church.

27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
The adult side of me says Pres. Bush, the teenage side of me says some of the stars from Grey's Anatomy.

28. What errand/chore do you despise?
Washing dishes

29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! NOT YET!!!

30 Last time you puked from drinking?
Never. (see #13. I'm a goody-good. What can I say)

31. What is your heritage?
Dutch
32. Favorite flower?
Gerber Daisy

33. Disney or Warner Bros?
Disney

34. What is your best childhood memory?
Camping, and hiking with my family.

35. Your favorite potato chip?
Baked Lays

36. What is your favorite candy?
Kit Kat

37. Do you burn or tan?
Tan
38. Astrological sign?
Capricorn.

39. Do you own a gun?
No. But I love to target practice!

40. What do you think of hot dogs?
Really good grilled.

2006-10-09T17:03:00.000-05:00

I lied.

*Update*
I found out the pharmacy was just billing insurance #2, not #1. That is what got us stuck with bills the last time, because #2 is not supposed to be paying for everything. When we tried to get #1 to pay, they will only give me limited amounts. Everyone in the world seems to think 200 strips is SOO MANY!! Why in the world would I need to test more than 4 times a day????? So now I'm in the process of appealing that amount. Not a HUGE deal, just another annoyance that I thought was all taken care of!

Because I am a 5 year kid inside, and I'm easily entertained

2006-10-04T21:39:00.000-05:00

Blogger's spell check cracks me up. So I decided to make a list of diabetic words and see what it does to them. The list on the left will be what I typed, and the list on the right will be what blogger says it should be.

Quick-set Suicide
Insulin no suggestions
Humalog homology
Novolog navels
Lanclet loincloth
Cozmo cozen
Mimimed manumit
Animas anions
Islet Islet
A1c AAA
Lantus lunatic
Levemir no suggestions
Ketones Kittens
JDRF nothing
Ketoacidosis nothing
Cleo clew
Minimed (the right way) minuend
Lancet(The right way) Lancet
This is what happens on too little sleep!!

That's all for now. If you have any additions, and want to join the fun, let me know!

October 3, 1988

2006-10-03T13:40:00.000-05:00

18 years ago, I was in the hospital. I have no memories of this monumental time of my life. I've seen pictures. I look like a orphan child from a third world country, but surrounded by stuffed animals, balloons and family.
18 years is a very long time. A lifetime in fact. Like Allison said, now my diabetes can vote. Hurray? Maybe. I am 18 years complication free. I don't really consider that an accomplishment. I'm only 19 years old for crying out loud! I shouldn't have any complications.
This day doesn't seem any different to me. I don't know if it should.
In general, I am really freaking sick of all the crap. For years and years, it never bothered me.
But lately?
Man.
Site rashes
Painful sites
Ball in my stomach crappy highs
Stuff my face and never come up lows.
A few weeks ago, for the first time I can ever remember, I could actually picture a cure. For ME. When that story about the cure for kids diagnosed before 6 months came out, my heart skipped beat. I quickly did the mental math, to see if it was even possible that I had diabetes at 6 months, and went undiagnosed. I pictured what it would be like to be FREE. I was quickly disappointed. The difference between 6 months and 22 months is just too much. Too much to research further. I was disappointed. Maybe that's why it is all bothering me so much lately. Or maybe it's the transition to school. Once again, I have to explain the ins and outs to my roommates. They are really nice about it. They WANT to know, but once I start to explain, I realize just how much there is. From the little things from what my blood sugar should be, to why I need to change my site, what ketones are and why in the world I went off my pump. It's just so much!
I know I'm pretty much the youngest blogger in the OC. I'm too dang young to have been dealing with this more 18 years.
So happy anniversary to me. Maybe I'll go to Dairy Queen or something tonight, or maybe I'll just ignore the day.

Two Questions

2006-10-01T15:19:00.000-05:00

I have two new requests for the OC. One is a serious one, the other is not.
First:
My new blue pump remains nameless. Anyone have any suggestions for him(or her?)?

Second:
I have developed a nice, itchy reaction to my quicksets. Every site itches while it is on, and when I take it off there is a series of red, raised bumps where the site was. What can I do about it? Now before you answer this, keep in mind I have the same reaction for IV3000 and Tegaderm. Does anyone know of any other products? This is a recurring problem. I get these rashes for a few months, and then they go away. But then have never been this bad before. This goes to show that even after 7ish years pumping, I still do not know everything. I'm still learning!
Any and All suggestions welcome!

*Update*
I screwed my pump last night, at about 2am. I was really high, and really angry and sick of dealing with all the crap, so I gave a shot of Levemir, and pulled out the pump site. I've been on shots since then. I called MM to see if they had any suggestions, and they were shockingly helpful. (I have had some horrible Minimed experiences) They are overnighting me some different tape samples, and some sets in case the ones I have are defective. The Minimed I knew NEVER volunteered that it might be there fault! I'm shocked! I still appreciate any suggestions you guys have!

Did you know?

2006-09-30T11:40:00.000-05:00

Did you know, that it is extremely helpful to put insulin in the cartridge when doing a site change? That air will not prime the tubing?
This is a lesson I learned at 2am last night.

On a lighter note...

2006-09-27T13:59:00.000-05:00

I got three exams back today.
All I can say it, FINALLY all of my hard work is starting to pay off.
physiology: The hardest of all my classes, in which most people want to die: I got 93%!!!!!!!!!! Words can not express how happy this makes me.
Sociology: I didn't study too much for this, because it was the day after Phys, and I just didn't care anymore: 88%
Psychology: 92%. Only 2 people in all of my professors classes did better than I did. I rock.
That is the bulletin of the day.
More doom and gloom tomorrow. :-)

A very long rant.

2006-09-26T18:23:00.000-05:00

I had such a bad week last week. If something could go wrong diabetes wise, it did.
Last Friday, I had a bad site. I ended up skipping a class because I felt so horrible. My highs don't usually affect me as badly as they did that day. I couldn't eat most of the day because of horrible ketones, so it was almost 2pm before I ate anything. That started me down a vicious cycle. I couldn't eat because I didn't feel good, so I started getting starvation ketones, which made me feel worse, which makes me not want to eat...... I finally forced down some applesauce just to get some carbs and more insulin into my system.
I had the weekend to recover.
Monday morning. I wake up having to go to the bathroom SOO bad. While I'm in the bathroom, my pump starts to SIREN. I don't know if anyone has ever heard the Cozmo siren, but its loud. Sadly, my roommate wasn't up before then, but she certainly was after! The screen said that the battery was dead. There was no low battery alarm, and I had changed it last week. Of course, I was out of new batteries. I took the old battery out so the thing would SHUT UP, threw some clothes on, and went to the bookstore to get more batteries. After I put them into the pump, it seemed to work OK, but this was the second time this had happened to that pump. I was not letting it go. I called Deltec and got the nicest woman. She agreed I needed a whole new pump. When she asked what color I had, I told her gray but then asked if I could have another color. I had to quickly make up my mine. I said blue on an impulse. After checking to make sure they had new blue pumps (she didn't want me to have a refurbished one) she said I could have it!! That made me really happy!!! No more boring gray! After I got my old pump working, I checked myself. I'm high, of course. I debated whether to go on shots or not. I decided I didn't really need to. I gave the bolus. Halfway through I got my favorite (sarcasm) alarm. Blockage Detected!! Oh joy! On top of everything else, I got to do a site change too!
Tuesday: New pump arrives. Not a major deal, I just had to take the time to program it. But that too takes time, time that I did not really have.
Wednesday: While sleeping, I started having the strangest dream. In it, I was rushing trying to get ready, and my pump just wouldn't stop beeping or vibrating, no matter what I did! Finally, I woke up to another blockage. Grrr. Another site change! As if waking up over 300 or 400 twice in the past week wasn't enough!
Thursday night: I woke up feeling low. I was 40. I don't know if it was because I was so tired, or so low, but I couldn't stay awake. I kept falling asleep while I was eating. All of my food is right next to my bed, so I don't have to get out of bed when I'm low. I must have had 3 or 4 granola bars, a couple of packages of fruit snacks and a bottle of juice. When I woke up the next morning, I was only 294. With that many carbs, I should have been much, much higher. It was a scary experience, one I don't want to repeat.
Last night: Check at 11:30, 383. Crap. Bolus the correction. Check an hour later. 150. CRAP!!!! Now I want to come down fast as much as the next diabetic, but I had lots and lots of IOB. I did not know what to do. I finally decided to shut my basal off for 3 hours, and to set my alarm for an hour later. For once in my life, I made the right decision. I went up to 160, and never dropped below that.
So that is a synopsis of all the crap that has been going on lately. Surprisingly, I didn't want to get rid of my pump. I just didn't want to be diabetic anymore! I am so sick of all the crap!

2006-09-16T19:11:00.000-05:00

October 1st.

Does that date mean anything to you?

Probably not.

But it means a heck of a lot to me.

October 1st is the date my application for the nursing department is due. Just sitting here typing about it is clenching my stomach into knots. I know that I will spend the next few months worrying. November 6th is when registration for classes begin, so I will know by then.

I am so dang nervous, I can't even think about working on my homework right now. Homework that is so important. It is important, so that I can learn the material and do well in my classes. If I do well in my classes, I might get into the nursing program. But I am so worried about getting into the nursing program, that I can't do my homework. I'm in a little bit of a pickle.

UGH! Do you know how much this stinks? I KNOW what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am very blessed for that reason. What stinks is that I CAN'T DO IT! I have been amazed at the number of people the last 5-6 months, that have told me, not knowing my dreams, that I should be a nurse. The only people that don't seem to think I'm good enough are the only people that really matter: the nursing board.

I could really use some thoughts and prayers. Starting October 1st (and probably before) I'm going to be a nervous wreck. If I don't get into the program this time, I have some major, major life decisions to make, and they are not going to be easy or pleasant.

2006-09-13T15:03:00.000-05:00

Life has been so crazy lately. I moved back to school a couple of weeks ago, and the transition has been harder than I thought it would be. On top of that (or maybe because of that) my blood sugars have been terrible. One of these days I'll get around to writing them all down and trying to figure out if there is any real trend.
In the mean time, I'm doing my best to make sure everyone in my classes think I'm a drug addict.
The other day I had a bad site, and flew up to 450. Sadly, this was during the middle of class. I wrote on a page in my notebook "I'm really high!" I showed it to my friend before I left class to change my site. That page was the same one I wrote out my part of a group presentation. At the next class, I gave my notebook to another group member to read over. When she handed it back, she gave me kind of a weird look, but didn't say anything. It wasn't until later that I realized what was written on the notebook, and why she gave me a weird look.
Case #2. Physiology class. I was digging around in my backpack before class, trying to find a pen. I felt something thin and round. I pulled it out. Nope! It wasn't a pen, it was a syringe. Whoops. No idea how many people saw in that class, but it gave me a good laugh.
In other news, the JDRF walk is going well. People who have never donated before are giving large amounts, like $100. The bad news, people who usually donate haven't gotten back to me. People like my brothers. That is always a sticky situation. I would like them to donate. In the past they've donated. But, what it they don't want to this year? I don't want to bug them about it, and make them feel pressured. Hopefully they people will start sending in their checks so I don't have to make those awkward phone calls.
Back to the never ending world of homework!

**A HUGE thank you to Tiffany at the Diabetes OC, and Candid Diabetes for fixing my Diabetes OC Navigation Bar. It works!**

2006-09-05T23:03:00.000-05:00

In what kind of f-ing world does my blood sugar RISE 200 points after exercise????
There was no rebound.
Grrr.
*More later, just a quick rant before I go to bed.*

JDRF walk

2006-08-30T18:31:00.000-05:00

I need some help creating a letter to send to my relatives to raise money for the JDRF walk. Can you all give me some input?

Dear
October 3, 1988.
That date was my Grandpa and Grandma Root’s wedding anniversary. It is also the date I was diagnosed with type one diabetes. That was 18 years ago. Today, my pancreas still does not produce insulin. Until a cure is found, I will wear my insulin pump 24 hours a day. To make sure I’m getting the right amount of insulin, I have to check my blood sugar six to ten times a day. Insulin keeps me alive, plain and simple. Insulin is not a cure for diabetes. The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation is dedicated to finding a cure for me and the 3 million other people with type one diabetes. That’s why I will be walking on September 16 at Holland State Park for the tenth year. A cure is out there, and JDRF will find it!
Will you consider helping them make my dream of a cure come true?
Thank you for your continued support!

To donate online, or by credit card, please visit:
www.tiny.cc/jgrasman

It needs some help, and I know it, but what does it need?

Tiny Bubbles...

2006-08-29T16:36:00.000-05:00

Since the OC so accurately predicted that I was going to be sick (and I was) I have another problem.
What is it?
Bubbles.
Lots and lots of bubbles.
Unlike the song, these bubbles are not making me feel happy or feel fine.
They are in the cartridge. In the tubing. They are killing me. This has never been a problem before. Now all of a sudden, when I fill the cartridge, there are foamy bubbles. When I change my site, there are huge bubbles. Once in a while, I notice bubbles in the tubing. Long ones. Several units long. It takes a lot of insulin to get rid of them.
So, I'm coming to the experts. How do you prevent bubbles? How do you get rid of them? Should I be pulling the cartridge out daily to check for them?
Thanks!

2006-08-09T15:33:00.000-05:00

There is a special guessing game I play a couple of times a year.
It centers around one question.
Am I high because I'm sick, or am I sick because I'm high?
I am going through that debate right now. I have been in the 200's for the past couple of days, and now in the 300's. I've changed my site, and I will change it again tonight. I have a sore throat, confusion and fatigue. All could mean my sugar is high. All could also mean I am getting sick. So how do I find out? Anyone have any good ideas, or is time the only remedy?

~Camp synopsis coming soon.
~T minus 18 days until I move back to school

IT'S OVER

2006-08-08T18:34:00.000-05:00

I have 300 beautiful, fully paid for freestyle flash test strips sitting in my supply tub. I also have 6 vials of humalog insulin sitting in my fridge. Also, completely paid for. And not by me. BY THE INSURANCE COMPANY!!!
THE FIRST TIME!!! HURRAY!! IT"S OVER!!!

Camp

2006-07-25T14:56:00.000-05:00

It's that time again! Camp time!
I first went to Camp MIDICHA 10 years ago.
It was the first time I truly realized that there were other diabetics in the world. Not just other adults, like my grandpa, but other kids! It was the first time I realized that I wasn't the only one who had vision changes with blood sugar changes. I wasn't the only one!
I went to midicha as a camper for 7 years, then became a CIT (counselor in training) and then a counselor. I wanted to be like all of the great counselors I had over the years.
I was sorely disappointed. My very first session, there were 4 other counselors in one cabin. Not fun. We stepped on each others toes all the time. The campers quickly learned that if one of us said no, they should just go to another one. It took us a while to get our act together. The second session of that year was even worse. I only had one co-counselor, like normal. Her name was Lisa and she was from Spain. Lisa seemed nice enough at first. Then she started disappearing. At first she said she had to have allergy shots. Every day. Riiight. Then, those half hour disappearance became several hours. Then she started telling me I was doing all the diabetes care wrong. There was no need to check campers again 15 minutes after they were low. It didn't really matter if we checked them at midnight or 4am. It was the same thing. The worst part is, I could get her in trouble because she was dating the head counselor.
The second year, I had high hopes. I walked into my cabin to meet my co-counselor. The first thing she tells me? She's usually a ranch staffer, so she's not used to being around the kids 24/7, and she's not happy about it. Great.....
So this year, I decided I wasn't going to work at camp. The plan was to get a summer job, and then I wouldn't have time for camp. I would plan a weekend to get together with my camp friends. However, the current job market and my friends did not cooperate. I did not land a job, and one of my friends still wanted to go to camp. So. Off to camp I go. Other than the bad co-counselors, camp has been pretty fun. If I get a good one this year, I'll go again next year. If not, then I don't know.

Rest In Peace Toby

2006-07-17T13:37:00.000-05:00

This morning, my faithful friend of only 3 years died.
He was one of the best trained and loveable pets I have ever had. Toby will be greatly missed.

un-motivated

2006-07-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

I am completely NOT motivated in my diabetes care lately. I went to the endo's office a few weeks ago. My A1c was good (7.2) but I needed to do more work. I was having frequent lows. Now, I'm having frequent highs. Crappy, sick to my stomach, drink tons of water, highs. I really, really need to start logging again, and even more importantly, do some basal testing. I hate testing basals. Breakfast skips are really easy. Lunch and supper? Not so much. I THINK about doing it all the time, but it is so easy to come up with excuses not to actually stop eating, test every hour and write it down. Why is it so dang difficult???

2006-07-11T19:02:00.000-05:00

Cross your fingers.
Rub your lucky rabbits foot.
PRAY!
The insurance fiasco may be solved. We are in the process of transferring from tradition BCBS to point of service. The very helpful and friendly man at Blue Cross promises we won't be sorry. I plan on holding him to that.
Now, the major hurtles include:
Actually getting all the paperwork filled out and to the correct people.
Making sure they cover everything like they said they would
Seeing if they cover my endo (oh please Lord I hope so!)
Seeing if insurance #1 and #2 play well with each other
Finding out if there is a pharmacy in my area that will take this (#*%& insurance.

This new insurance seems too good to be true. It promises a $10 co-pay on all prescriptions. No limits on insulin or test strips. Any pharmacy I choose. Could it really be true???
I'll find out later this week!

I'm in love

2006-07-04T16:12:00.000-05:00

I went to the endo yesterday.
My A1c was 7.2, up a little, but still not bad.
I talked to him about different options for thigh sites. I've tried my quick-sets there a couple of times, and it just didn't work for me. He recommended I try the Cleo from Cozmo. ( http://www.cleoinfusionsets.com ) He gave me 2 to try. They have a big shortage, so he couldn't get me more. I tried one this morning. I LOVE it!! I've tried sof-sets, quick-sets, the angled sets and insets. This is by far my favorite. For the first time ever, the insertion device doesn't make a really loud noise, or jolt into me. It is so EASY and pain free. I can go as fast or slow as I want to. Plus, it is PURPLE! Can you tell I'm excited? Another huge plus is that it doesn't burn when it delivers insulin, like the quick-set does in my leg. I sure hope I can get more of them, because it's going to be hard to go back to quick-sets, even after one day.
I wanted to share my joy. I greatly recommend trying these if you can!

Eye Doctor

2006-06-26T20:18:00.000-05:00

I went to the eye doctor tonight.
It has me pretty upset.
Every time I go, I have my eyes dilated, like a good little diabetic.
Then I sit there, without my contacts, blind for 10 minutes while the drops work.
I went into the room, and the doctor came in. He made the required small talk. I hate this part of the appointment. My doctor is a relative of sorts. His daughter just married my cousin. We talked about the wedding. Then I had to hear, once again, how the college he went to is better than the college I go to. (They are arch rivals.) Then he starts the exam. He pulls out the little light, and starts looking. This time, he lingers longer on each eye longer than usual. So long, that my dilated eyes tear excessively, and I long to close them. He makes annoying worried noises that sent my panic level through the roof. Finally, he shuts the little light off, and leans back. "Well, your eyes look good Jennifer." (Oh really? I think. What about the noises?) "I can see some evidence of diabetes in your eyes. (WHAAAATTT!!!) Don't worry though. All it does is confirms the fact that you are diabetic."
I don't want my eyes telling anyone that I am diabetic!
I am 19 years old. I want normal eyes. I want to have great vision for another 60 years! OK, so I already have crappy vision, but a pair of glasses/contacts fix that. I don't want to have to worry about blood vessels showing I'm diabetic! I know I'm probably over reacting, but I really want to have good vision. I don't want to be one of those people that others look at and say, "oh, she's blind. She has diabetes you know."
So, the next part, is all the tests he wants to do all the time. Just last year, I had a visual field test done. Now, he wants another one. It seems a little much to me. Does anyone know what test are recommended? I looked on the ADA website, but I can't seem to find it.
Other than the "evidence of diabetes" everything else was fine, including my retinal photograph. I guess that's good. I just wish I had completely normal eyes.

Colorado

2006-06-25T16:17:00.000-05:00

Day 1. Traveling
I started out Monday afternoon, and drove to my brother and sister in laws house. I spent the night there, hanging out with them. Tuesday, we started the drive to Chicago. We arrived at the airport behind schedule, which put us all on edge. We found the ticket counter, checked our luggage and got in line. I took my pump out of the case, and put it in my front pocket on the recommendation of a previous security screener. I went before my brother, just in case I set off the detectors. As I walked through the gate, I felt myself tense up. I waited for the beep, and the dark look from the screener. I continued to wait. No beep! I turned around and smiled at Mike (my brother). I made it! The flight to Colorado went fine. I got a little motion sick, but nothing bad. At the Denver airport, we met my other brother (Nick) his wife, (Cherie) and my niece (Maribel). We went out for a late supper, got groceries, and drove to the cabin. We were truly in for a rustic camping experience. The cabin was up in the mountains, 45 minutes from any civilization. We collapsed into bed at 2am.
Day 2
I woke up at a decent 200. Not bad considered all the travel and the time change. I decided that since we were going to go hiking first thing that day, not to correct. I had some cereal, and cut my basal in half right after breakfast. We packed up, and drove to Rocky Mountain National park for our first hike. In the car, I checked myself, not feeling the best. My two cautious moves earlier that morning took a major toll. I was 400. I started to panic. It was too late to tell everyone that we couldn't hike for another hour, and I wasn't sure how much of a correction to give. I had no idea what kind of hike we were in for. I guessed, and we started out on the trail. I checked every half hour after that. I slowly, but not too slowly, came back down. I spent the rest of the day hovering between 140 and 180. The first hike we took was to a set of waterfalls. They were beautiful. Well worth the 6 mile hike in the 90 degree heat.
Day 3
After the previous days strenuous hike, we decided to take our second day a little bit easier. We woke up (I was again in the 200's. That time I corrected), ate breakfast and dressed for another 90 degree day. As we piled into the car, we noticed it was cooler than the day before, but it was also earlier. When we got to the trail head, it was 55. It never got above 65 the whole day. We were a little cold in our shorts and T-shirts. Once again, it was beautiful, and once again, my blood sugars stayed picture perfect on 50% basal reduction.
Day 4
The fourth day was once of the most beautiful. It was a longer hike again, but by definitely worth it. It both rained and snowed while we made our way to Nypm, Emerald and Dream lakes. The view at Emerald lake was just amazing. I stuck with the 50% basal. When we sat down for lunch, I was in the 90's. That was the lowest I had gone while hiking so far.
Day 5
After hearing all about Trail Ridge Road, and how beautiful it was, we decided to try it. We weren't sure how it was going to go. Maribel (my year old niece) had decided she hated riding in the car, and would scream anytime we drove anywhere. The. Entire. Time. I love her dearly, but I think most of us wanted to murder her by the end of the week. This is the child that never sleeps. Ever. She screamed for 3 hours straight one night. She finally went to sleep at 3am. She slept for one freaking hour and then was up again. For the rest of the day. Anyway. That was my rant. High altitudes + babies = misery. Luckily for us, she decided to take a nap most of the trip out there. On the way back, we made frequent stops to take pictures and let her play. We took this picture on top of the mountain that the visitors center is on. Introducing the family. It is not a very attractive picture for any of us. We are looking into the sun, it was really windy, and crazy cold.

I'm on the far left. Then Sarah (SIL), Mike(bro), Nick(oldest bro), Cherie and Maribel.
I have never seen scenery more beautiful. We were on top of the mountains. You could see for miles. It was wonderful. I loved it. I would post about 50 pictures, but seeing as it takes 15minutes per picture(no, I'm not kidding) I'll refrain.
After Trail Ridge Road, we saw the Alluvial Fan. It is where a damn broke in the 80's, taking large amounts of rocks with it, and spreading them wherever it pleased. The picture below shows me sitting on one of those "rocks."

Day 6
This was the final day in Colorado, and it was not a great one. The hike we were going to go one had no parking spots open for several miles. We decided on another hike, and it turned out to be a boring one. It was hot again that day, and there was little shade, and lots of other people. Although I had again turned my basal down 50%, I had my first low. It didn't seem to be a bad one at first. Only 75. I took 30 grams. 5 minutes later, my brother wanted to keep going. I convinced him to wait another 5 minutes. I rechecked. I was 78. Neither Nick or Cherie wanted to sit there in the sun. I don't know what their problem was. It made me glad it was the one and only low I had the entire trip. I finally came up, but it did involve eating and hiking at the same time to keep everyone happy. The hike was someone pretty, but a bit of a let down after Trail Ridge Road.
Day 7
This was the day I was dreading. This was the trip I had to make all by myself. I had never flown alone before. I was dropped off by a shuttle bus at the baggage claim. After wondering through the airport, I finally found the United check-in area. They were like 50 different areas to check in, and I had no idea which one I needed. The woman I asked pointed to a line that read "International flights. E-tickets only." I was domestic, and I had a paper ticket. Low and behold, it was the right line. Weird. Then it was on to security. I had high hopes after security in Chicago. I was even waved into the express line. My first panic came when I set down my carry-on and shoes, started to go through the metal detector, and the woman behind me got my attention and asked me if I had dropped my ticket. Indeed I had. I couldn't believe I had and didn't notice it. I walked up to the metal detector again. The screener told me to loose the cell phone. I told him it was an insulin pump. He must have noticed I was nervous, because he told me they never set it off. Well, it must have been my lucky day! He even let me go through the detector again, because I had forgotten my belt, and it still set it off. After a hand wand and a pat down, I went to my gate, and flew home without a problem.

Overall, it was a wonderful trip. Other than the one low, the diabetes behaved. I can't wait to go back with my whole family (parents included) again. It is the most beautiful place I have ever visited.

2006-06-10T20:33:00.000-05:00

Guess who is going to Colorado in 3 days.

ME!!!

As you might remember, I've been wanting to go out there ever since I went with a youth group 2 years ago, and NOW I GET TO!! I'm going with both my brothers, their wives and my niece.
Am I nervous? Oh heck yes. More nervous than I was last time. See, my brothers even after spending quite a few years of their lives in the same house with a diabetic, are fairly clueless. They both moved out before I started pumping, and let's just say things changed A LOT when I started pumping. I don't think they even know how to use glucagon. (I plan to fix that). One brother seems to have it in his head that we can go out and hike from 6am to 6pm. All day. Every day. With an 11month old and a diabetic? I think not. Well, at least I hope not. The plan is to cut basals in half right off the bat. The time change and the travel will start me off high, but I haven't found a good solution for either.

Ahh! I have to run, but any tips on flying, adjusting to new time zones, major hiking and anything else that might be helpful (good sights to see?) are greatly appreciated!

Wanted

2006-06-06T08:27:00.000-05:00

One mail-order pharmacy.
At the least, it has to ship insulin and test strips. It would be nice if it shipped oral medication too.
If anyone has a good experience (or a bad one) that they could share, I would really appreciate it!

I killed it.

2006-06-02T20:32:00.000-05:00

Well, the streak ended yesterday.
First, it was the chocolate cake. My mom had just baked it, and it is was warm out of the oven. My dad was having a piece for snack, and I couldn't resist.

The guess? 30 grams.
The result? 64.
Later that night?

Virgin, of course. It was the first time I had ever had one.
The Guess? 45 grams.
The result? 326.

So thanks for all the congrats, but it's over, and I killed it. Until next time, if there IS a next time...

I solemnly swear that I AM diabetic.

2006-05-31T15:05:00.000-05:00

I just have to share my joy. These are my numbers from the past 2 days.
142
133
166
143
135
152
164
167
110
108
I even checked myself on the new meter Accu-check just sent me. It agreed.
What do I think about this?

A pumper's worst enemy

2006-05-21T13:37:00.000-05:00

2006-05-16T21:51:00.000-05:00

Thank you to Kerri for giving me questions even though I can not count, and I was the 6th. I'm a little late in the game, but if you want to participate, I'll give 5 questions to the first 5 that ask.

1. (A rip off from Julia): You are having lunch with three fictional people and you have to pack them a picnic lunch. Who do you invite and what you you serve? Professor Dumbledore (I'm a harry potter fan, what can I say), Abby Lockhart from ER annnnd Dr. McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy. I will serve tea and crumpets. (I honestly had to google crumpets to see what they were. Now I know)
2. What do you see yourself doing in five years? And what kind of shoes will you be wearing?
If I do want I want to do, I will be working at a children's hospital. I will wear really comfortable shoes, because I hope to be on my feet all day. At the end of the day, I want to be tired, but satisfied.

3. When the movie of your life is made, who will play you and what will the title of the film be? I've thought and thought about this question, and I can't come up with a good answer yet. I do not know where my life is going to lead yet. I am at a pretty huge cross roads right now, and I do not know where I am going to end up. I'd like to have a good job, that I enjoy (with good insurance of course) I would like to get married, eventually, and even have kids someday. I know, I didn't answer the question. So sue me. :)
4. Do you have any phobias? If so, what are they? If not, what do you think keeps you from having one? Heights. Heights are very bad for me. I have never been on a rollar coaster because of it.
5. Why do you blog?
I can't remember why I started, but I know why I continue. I blog to vent. I blog to celebrate. I blog to put everything out on paper (er..the screen) and hope it clears up. I blog to be a part of the fabulous OC.

2006-05-12T22:21:00.000-05:00

Psyc!
I had a whole post written.
The dial-up internet connection killed it.
But in case you hadn't heard: s1955 died today. Hurray!
The real post will come....eventually. This week has been really crazy busy, and this weekend is going to be worse. AHHHH!!!

My Turn!

2006-05-03T15:21:00.000-05:00

Accent: I have an annoying Midwest accent. It's nasally and it is pointed out to me on a regular basis.
Booze: No thank-you.

Chore I Hate: Washing dishes. Granted, I don't have a lot, but i think it makes it worse. I only have a bowl or a plate to do at a time, and I have to do them in the bathroom sink.
Dog or Cat: Dog. However cats are nice on occasion. I had many, many cats when I was young.
Essential Electronics: My laptop.
Favorite Perfume: I don't wear it. But I love the smell of Bath and Body works Warm vanilla sugar.
Gold or Silver: I wear silver most.

Hometown: Somewhere in MI! :-)
Insomnia: Almost never. Most nights I collapse into bed. I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Job Title: Full-time student. Otherwise un-employed. (Someone, somewhere has to give the poor student experience. We have to get it somewhere! Grrr)

Kids: None, but they are cute, and I love working with them.

Living arrangements: In a dorm for 1 (read that ONE) more day!!!!!!!

Most admirable traits: Mine? Um...I've been told I'm patient and kind.

Number of sexual partners: Zero.

Overnight hospital stays: For a week when I was diagnosed.
Phobias: Heights. I've never been on a roller coaster.

Quote: "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." Albert Camus
Religion: Christian

Siblings: 2 brothers, their wives and a niece.
Time I wake up: M/F: 9:30, T/R: 8, W: 6:30. Weekends as late as I can.
Unusual talent or skill: I have no idea.

Vegetables I love: Carrots

Worst habit: I bite my nails sometimes.
X-rays: Hand, ankle, knees, lungs (3 times this year! Our health clinic loves those things)

Yummy foods I make: Brownies. They have a peanut butter layer. They are wonderful.
Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

An update on me: I have my supplies for the next month. Insurance is still not figured out, but hopefully we will get there eventually. They would only pay for 200 strips, so hopefully I don't get sick this month. I am currently in exam week, which means I am trying really hard not to get stressed out. I move out of the dorm tomorrow (hallelujah!! YOU try living with 300 girls. AHH!!) I'm glad for my pump this week. Any shreds of a schedule is long gone. I eat at the most random times, sometimes only a little, other times a lot. Ahh, the craziness of college life!

Grrrr. A Rant about insurance

2006-04-26T14:22:00.000-05:00

Well, our insurance issues are not over. A short time ago, we thought we had the insurance issues all figured out, but we did not. Now, insurance is refusing to pay for ANYTHING until everything is straightened out. No insulin, no test strips, nothing. I am on my last bottle of test strips right now because the pharmacy refused to fill the full number last time, claiming insurance refused to pay for more. (We checked, they didn't decline) So I am on pins and needles waiting to hear. Everyone we talk to says they know other people have been in our situation, but no one knows how to fix it. We were trying to do the honest, right thing, and it is now getting us screwed over. I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES!!! Apparently they would rather have to go the ER (which they will pay for) than pay for my test strips and insulin that prevents me from going there. Grrrrrr.
*Update* I think we have a temporary solution for now. We might have to pay for the prescription up front (ouch!) but insurance #1 will reimburse us 80%. So I will be able to get supplies. Hopefully. I am going this afternoon to try it. Meanwhile, person at insurance company #1 is talking to #2 and hopefully it will get straightened out. Thanks so much for the generous offer of supplies. It looks I will be able to get through, even if it will be expensive.

2006-04-23T15:02:00.000-05:00

I. hate. being. sick.
I hate it.
I have all of this crap in my lungs. I hate it. Luckily, it haven't been too nauseous. I've been able to eat OK, and drink OK. My numbers have been...decent, but a little on the high side. No ketones though. I plan on going to the health clinic tomorrow. Blah. I am going to go take ANOTHER nap.
*Update* I spoke too soon. My numbers are crap. And you know that lack of nausea? Yeah, that's no longer true. Thank goodness for temp basals. I am now running at 125%, but I don't know if I want to leave that for tonight. I have been sleeping so heavily that my roommate had music on and was talking and laughing with another girl (they didn't know I was sleeping) and I didn't hear them. So which is the lesser of the 2 evils, running in the 200's all night, or risk going low? I'll probably just let the temp basal expire and sleep without it tonight.

The decision....kind of

2006-04-19T22:37:00.000-05:00

Since Kerri is worried about me, and I need a break from studying, I thought I would continue the previous post. So, if you haven't read the one below, go do so.
I decided to put another site in. I found a spot on my stomach that looked good, so I got everything ready, and put it in. It did hurt a little, but nothing horrible. I started to pick up the stuff from the site change, and my arm brushed up against the site. I looked down and my arm had a large line of blood on it. WHAT THE HECK???? So, I look at the site, and sure enough, it was bleeding. I use the quickset, and not only was blood going up the tubing, it was coming out of the hole in the middle too. I have never EVER seen anything like that. It was SO GROSS! I grabbed a huge stack of kleenex and pulled the site out. I soaked through 2 folded tissues before it stopped. I sure knicked a good vein or something!
After that, I was frustrated and (excuse my language) somewhat pissed off. I haven't had a site last more than 2 days in the last couple of site changes. So I dialed up a dose of levemir, gave a correction of humalog and stuck my pump in the drawer. It bought me some time to relax and cool down. I will probably put in a site later tonight, or early tomorrow morning, but after 2 painful sites, I just couldn't handle another one.
Now, as for the previous question about lows rebounding into highs. I woke up several mornings in a row in the mid to high 70's. I usually treat numbers in the 70's, because it usually means I'm dropping. I was curious to know if I could be running that low, or lower during the night. But that trend has stopped, and I did do some random middle of the night checks. My basal does drop me 50-100 points over night, but so far that has been beneficial. I am usually on the high side when I go to bed, so the basal is helping me wake up at wonderful numbers at around 80-100. I was having a WONDERFUL streak of numbers. It was BEAUTIFUL. I would wake up in range, and not go low or above 180 the whole day. I was in diabetic heaven. Then it ended. 2 things changed on that day: I changed my site and finished my antibiotic. I suspect the antibiotic, but could it really do that? If it did, I want it back!!
In other news, life has been going at an astounding pace. I will be done with my freshman year of college in 3 weeks. I can't believe it went by so fast. It is crunch time in classes, trying to get everything done before the semester is over. On top of that, there has been a lot of emotional stresses. Last Monday night, my good friend had a grand mal seizure in front of me. I'm really glad I was there. I was able to call 911 and talk her through it and calm her afterwards, but it was very scary. It furthered the impression that I NEVER want to have a seizure. I have been wearing my medic alert bracelet almost 24/7. I realized I didn't have it one when I went to the ER with her, and that scared me. I have been one of several girls sleeping in her room at night. She does not have a room mate. So after that, and getting no sleep after spending the night in the ER, I have been helping her recover and going to her to the neurologist, etc. Last night, my room mate broke out into hives. Huge, rapidly spreading hives. You could literally watch them grow. It was quite alarming. In half an hour it went from a mosquito looking bite to covering both arms. SO, I spend another night in the ER. Whew! I get tried just typing it. So, needless to say, I am a little sick of the ER. This post is now very long, very rambling and very grammatically poor, but I don't really care. I'm tired, and it is all off my chest!
*Update* I put in another site this morning. In my arm. I didn't want to do one there, since the weather is so nice, but my stomach is looking a little beat up. I set a temporary rate of 25% until the levemir is out of my system. I guess it needs to be higher, because I haven't been below 200 all day. I am currently sitting at 200, but I can't correct because of the stupid insulin on board. I am refraining from just bolusing the crap out of that 200. I am looking forward to better numbers tomorrow when my stress level will be lower, I will have a full night of sleep (Lord willing) and no levemir in my system to mess things up.

eenie meenie miny moe

2006-04-19T16:44:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here. Debating.
I tried a thigh site Monday. It was...OK. But I did try it. I hurt at first, then was OK. Then it started to hurt again last night. At dinner, it burned. Badly. So, I gave it and pulled it out. I bled a tiny bit, but not much. Now, I am not connected to anything. I don't want to put in a site. I don't want to take a shot. Not doing either is not an option. So? What do I do?
The decision and a lot of other things coming soon. It's been a wild ride lately.